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Stacy0122 Asked February 2021

How do you explain that a "vulnerable" person is not independent?

I have a Zoom hearing on Tuesday, the person who was at my house and removed was put on some anti Parkinson's psychosis meds so I guess she wants to come back.


My knee jerk reaction is to just tell the judge he is stupid to even consider it because she can do nothing for herself, I do not like the person and it is my house so F*ck Off because her "wants" means nothing to me.


Well, cannot say that. How do I explain that even though she is "vulnerable" she is not independent and is a burden I can no longer deal with even in a minimal capacity?

AlvaDeer Feb 2021
Geaton makes a good point. If YOUR HOME was her place of residence, there is no reason the Judge cannot return her to what is considered "her home"?
I guess she will have to be allowed to crash and burn again?
Why ANY of these folks live with you I can't figure.
Stacy, this was my worst fear for you. I do not see how a Judge can force a person not related to you into your home. I do believe I would appear and CALMLY speak of all the money she hasn't paid for rent, that was removed from pillows with her last admission. I would CALMLY bring up the fact she accused and saw someone convicted for theft of a ring when that ring was in her pillow. I would CALMLY say that I will have ZERO to do with her if she returns to her living quarters, and the sad crash-n-burn will come even more quickly this time.
So that is where I start at. If there is something I am missing, then I guess I am missing it.
I would maintain my cool in front of a Judge or this will go south real quick.

Stacy0122 Feb 2021
So, the hearing is Tuesday and there is no way in hell she is coming back to my house.

So, there is a snowstorm here so I have been stuck inside all day. Warming up chili. Well, M's phone went off, I mean it is on the counter next to the stove. Its his brother who, uh, I have been told he is not speaking to and hasnt for years. Well, uh, not so much when I kinda glanced at the call history. Ok, shady but not so much. I just threw the phone at him and said wtf y are you talking to that POS. I am pissed and I am at anxiety attack where your hand goes numb.

I cannot do this again.

Edit: I just walked outside and they are scheming how to get her back. Saying well I can call the agency and set up so specific worker comes back. Now, I guess, I know I am on my own.
AlvaDeer Feb 2021
NONE of these people should be in your home. Not the brothers, one of which I think is an EX spouse? And not their Mother. This is your home. Once you let people into your home it is almost impossible to get them out.

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JoAnn29 Feb 2021
Like said, that last paragraph says it all. Just say she needs more care than you are capable of giving. If you no longer want any responsibility for her, tell him the State needs to be her guardian.
AlvaDeer Feb 2021
She already has a POA, which is one of the sons trying to lever her back into Stacy's house I think.
Geaton777 Feb 2021
If her last place of residence was your home, then that's her legal residence. So, that's one issue. The other is that no one can force you to take care of this person. Is there a way you can prove her incapacity? Can you compile a list of the most recent things you've witnessed that she cannot do on her own? Those abilities are called ADLs (Activities of Daily Living). Maybe print out this list and go down it item by item and comment on what you KNOW she can and cannot do. I guess if she moves back in you can attempt to evict her (which costs money). Did she ever sign a lease agreement with you? Does she have any family at all that can be contacted to see if they are willing to help her? Whatever you do, don't lose your cool with the judge. Just write down everything you think they should know. Don't badmouth the housemate. Just state facts. If she is forced back upon you, make sure you get a signed lease agreement. I'm so sorry for this dilemma...I hope the judge rules wisely.

cxmoody Feb 2021
Practice that last paragraph out loud until you know it by heart, and repeat it to the judge. Repeat it, if you need to.
Let us know how it goes.

funkygrandma59 Feb 2021
You answered your own question in your very last sentence. You tell the judge that "even though she is "vulnerable" she is not independent and is a burden I can no longer deal with even in a minimal capacity." It's that simple. It's your house and you are not required to take on the care of someone that you don't want to, just because a judge wants you to. Good luck.

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