I need help dealing with an abusive, elderly mother. Is there an agency or something in the community that helps individuals like myself?

dear sharon,

hug!!

i understand.

“It is been escalating very severely as to the way she talks to me.”

unfortunately, that’s often how it goes:
these narcissistic, abusive people reach 1 level of abuse. next will be level 2, etc.
they on purpose don’t go straight to level 2, level 500, etc.

there really is no way to stop a narc from being a narc.
i feel it’s quite true: the only thing one can do is, low/or no contact.
get away. protect yourself.
they want to ruin us.

they don’t want us to be at peace, happy, thriving.

i’m surprised every time, how common it is for an aging mother to abuse her kind, helping daughter.

i hope you find a way out.
a new place where you can live. start fresh!
but if you continue helping from a distance, the abuse will also continue...they don’t stop.

hug!!

Curious, why do you have a service dog? That answer may help in our answers.

I will assume that you have some type of disability. As such, you may want to talk to your County Disability Department. See what low income housing is in your area. Social Services maybe able to help you with obtaining vouchers. I think HUD applications, in my state anyway, come up in June or July. Social Services may be able to help there. Or County housing authority.

Ask Realtors if they know of anyone renting. Check newspaper ADs.

Geaton if the mother is deemed competent and owns the home OP is living in, it's my understanding that the mother can take a cab home to her own residence IF she ends up in the hospital.

It seems the OP here needs to move and money is the problem.

Sharon- save every cent you can. Keep the stimulus checks you will be getting (hopefully) and keep looking for affordable housing.

I agree you should reach out to the agencies that Geaton mentioned. Also, when considering housing, would a small studio or room-mate situation work? Something temporary while you continue to heal and save?

Contact the hospital or clinic where you are receiving the chemo to see if they are aware of any charitable organizations who help cancer patients. Contact social services online (your county's Dept of Health and Human Services) and arrange for an in-home assessment for you (and maybe even your mother). Contact your local area's Agency on Aging for resources to deal with your mother. If your mother threatens you with physical harm please call 911 immediately (even if you think she won't do it). They will remove her from the home to a hospital. When the hospital calls to discharge her and pick her up, refuse and and refuse and refuse and tell them (in these exact words) that it is an "unsafe discharge". Then no matter how much pressure they apply or how ever many times they call, tell them about the abuse and your health issues and that she cannot possibly come back into the home. It is an "unsafe discharge". Unsafe for her, unsafe for you. The hospital's social workers will then work to place her elsewhere and probably start the guardianship process. I wish you much success as you work towards a better situation and a fully and lasting recovery from your illness. Peace!