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Katsue1530 Asked October 2020

Anyone have advice on how to deal with my mom's anger?

My mom is the sweetest human being, but when she is sundowning sometimes, not always, she gets very mean. I can’t touch her there, so no talking her out of it. It lasted 3 hours last night. I finally got her doctor to prescribe seroquel. I posted previously my dad is in the hospital suffering from a stroke. When she gets in this “mood” wanting her husband, wanting to see him now etc etc. there is no calming her. She’s 91 and my dad 92, 72 years married. It so sad but it’s very hard to go through this with her. I’m her caregiver during this time so do need some relief. Seemed seroquel helped today but could just of been a good day. Any suggestions on this anger issue please let me know. Thank you!

Geaton777 Oct 2020
Yes, get her checked for a UTI. Also, can you take a video of your dad next time you're visiting him, have him say "hello" or speak to her or whatever he can (if he can). Then you can show it to your mom whenever she wants to "see" him.

earlybird Oct 2020
We thought my mom was sundowning when in fact she had a serious UTI, treated with IV antibiotics. Her neurologist suggested melatonin 3 mg which helped and now only give it to her as needed. My mother is sweet as well, but when we wake her in the middle of the night for changing and turning she yells and screams so loud it wakes everyone up. It is upsetting, but it passes and she goes back to sleep. Calm manner, gentle massage, dim lights, and soft singing usually helps. My mother is the quiet type, never raised her voice for the most part, this is difficult to witness, but it seems it is part of the disease process. Wishing you the best as you continue on the caregiving journey with your dear mom.

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ZippyZee Oct 2020
Probably best to avoid her as best you can during that time.

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