That is the million dollar question! In terms of Alzheimer’s, I have found it impossible because their reality is their reality. It stops and ends there. It’s beyond frustrating and leads to feelings of complete helplessness.
I got a letter from her neurologist stating that she is no longer capable of handing her finances but I’m not sure to utilize it. How can I use it? She thinks she’s that dr because her “memory is getting bad!” She doesn’t know what she doesn’t know.
Tactfully. Other than that, it depends on what's happening and what you want to happen next.
What do you mean, volatile? What is the nature of this person's possible reaction to your expression of concern that you are afraid of? I ask especially, because - just for example - it's one thing for her to "shoot the messenger" but it's quite a different thing if you fear she might shoot herself. Without the inverted commas, even.
I was in Moms bathroom helping her. She turned to go out and she saw herself in the mirro and said "OMG". Did she know it was her or just some old lady? At that time her Dementia had progressed that you just didn't know. Not sure if they feel younger, but I think they are in a part of their Dementia life when they were younger. Even a child.
Your profile says Mom has Dementia/ALZ. If not seeing a neurologist, she needs to be. And she needs to be tested for what type of Dementia she has. They are finding a med that works for one type of Dementia, doesn't for another. If she is volatile, there are meds for that.
I don’t think they will ever believe family members or friends. One of my friends is having a horrible time with her mom.
I love visiting my friend. Not now, not visiting anyone now with our mandatory ‘stay at home’ regulations.
Anyway, her mom lives just upstairs in the condo above her so I run into her. It’s hard to be around her. She has declined terribly.
She won’t listen to her daughter. She tries to get me to tell her daughter that she is fine when I can see that she isn’t.
She did stop driving. Thank God, because she constantly got lost while driving. She refuses to live in assisted living facility. She can barely manage going upstairs and her daughter told her that she cannot move in with her.
All this woman wants to do is go to the casino. I am amazed at the widows that go to the casinos because they are lonely. It’s sad. I offered to drive her to the senior community center. She told me that was for old people. She’s 80! LOL
Is this common? That older people feel younger than they are? Just curious about that.
I'm curious too! I think it's denial. That even if they're 80, they're not like the "old people" they grew up knowing. They're an exception, not decrepit and helpless like they think old people are. And admitting to being 'old people' is admitting you're closer to death. My grandmother was just terrified of dying until one day she was worn out, calmly told everyone she loved them, and passed from heart failure a few days later.
My MIL loves the casino! She is not a widow; divorced decades ago (her idea). Almost 80. She can admit to being old but won't admit to being lonely. She has friends and is still able to drive, but never went on one date ever since she was divorced. Says she "doesn't want anyone around". But really, I think she just can't stand being home alone for evening after evening. The quiet settles in and she can't stand it. I wish she had a better outlet than the casino, but as long as she is mentally competent we can't change anything.
There is no easy way. I had mom”s Dr do it. He was the Dr she most admired. She fired him and blames me saying I was trying to railroad her. Nope just trying to care. With some you just have to let them have their horrific ending. Just take the car keys away.
My dad did not even want to hear the word "confused" - but told lots of stories, some real, some not, all pretty sweet, really. And my mom I think believed we would be finding her a nice apartment where she would live on her own up til the last day of her life. No reason to fight them on it, really, as long s you can talk them out of doing the wrong things somehow.
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What do you mean, volatile? What is the nature of this person's possible reaction to your expression of concern that you are afraid of? I ask especially, because - just for example - it's one thing for her to "shoot the messenger" but it's quite a different thing if you fear she might shoot herself. Without the inverted commas, even.
Your profile says Mom has Dementia/ALZ. If not seeing a neurologist, she needs to be. And she needs to be tested for what type of Dementia she has. They are finding a med that works for one type of Dementia, doesn't for another. If she is volatile, there are meds for that.
This is a very good article
https://m.activebeat.com/your-health/women/robin-williams-death-9-things-to-know-about-lewy-body-dementia/?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=AB_GGL_US_MOBI-SearchMarketing_TR&utm_content=g_t_303659477023&cus_widget=&utm_term=lewy%20body%20dementia&cus_teaser=kwd-35132660&utm_acid=3040947159&utm_caid=1599827680&utm_agid=62022144433&utm_os=&utm_pagetype=multi&gclid=CjwKCAiA7t3yBRADEiwA4GFlIwXNqttVn7Uds_rHQseE0Lf2rFXNN0wDvS4RrIV-lP80ott8wAXsuRoClvoQAvD_BwE
I love visiting my friend. Not now, not visiting anyone now with our mandatory ‘stay at home’ regulations.
Anyway, her mom lives just upstairs in the condo above her so I run into her. It’s hard to be around her. She has declined terribly.
She won’t listen to her daughter. She tries to get me to tell her daughter that she is fine when I can see that she isn’t.
She did stop driving. Thank God, because she constantly got lost while driving. She refuses to live in assisted living facility. She can barely manage going upstairs and her daughter told her that she cannot move in with her.
All this woman wants to do is go to the casino. I am amazed at the widows that go to the casinos because they are lonely. It’s sad. I offered to drive her to the senior community center. She told me that was for old people. She’s 80! LOL
Is this common? That older people feel younger than they are? Just curious about that.
My MIL loves the casino! She is not a widow; divorced decades ago (her idea). Almost 80. She can admit to being old but won't admit to being lonely. She has friends and is still able to drive, but never went on one date ever since she was divorced. Says she "doesn't want anyone around". But really, I think she just can't stand being home alone for evening after evening. The quiet settles in and she can't stand it. I wish she had a better outlet than the casino, but as long as she is mentally competent we can't change anything.
It never turns out well when you try to tell someone that they have mental decline, you will be the bad guy. Let the doctor do it.
I was called an effing liar for repeating that my dad was diagnosed with dementia. He told everyone that I was a liar. Ugh!