Mum just woke up in almost a manic behavior about something and lashed out at me. What’s going on?
I’m visiting my mom over the holidays and things have been Good during my visit although I’m seeing small cognitive changes. She’s 94, lives on her own in her own home. She’s been thankful and calm for me doing things, telling me I’m doing so much. My typical Mum. Anyway we had a holiday dinner yesterday with my brother and his family. Seemed to be going OK although Mum was a bit withdrawn. (She can’t hear well). Anyway we both go to bed and she gets up extremely early this morning and sends me a text message saying I want to talk to you now, that she’s been up all night because of “this family.”So I get up and she is ranting about financial issues and one family member having POA over her that she didn’t know and on and on. When I tried to explain to her I can get these things taken care of she just lashed out at me. Telling me how ungrateful I am for her trying to protect me and so on. Nothing I said seem to get to her she just kept arguing and seeing things in the negative and she wanted things done NOW. Freaking 7 o’clock in the morning. I tried to tell her things are closed now. She would not except that. It really upset me and I walked away with her saying, “that’s what you do, give up.” (???) anyway, this sincerely felt like some kind of manic outbursts I don’t know where from. No sleep? Obsessive thinking? I’ve been here almost 2 weeks and this is the first time it’s come up. I'm isolating myself right now because I don’t know what to do or how to handle this. I fly home in a few days. Any advice?? TIA!
I would say there is more here than exhaustion from the holidays. This is paranoia. Yes, UTIs can cause this and she needs to see a Dr. now. If u can't get her in take her to ER. If you get her there, ask if the attending doctor can run other tests. Low Potassium can cause problems. Thyroid can cause problems. B12 maybe needed. If its her Dr, get him to run tests.
If the tests come back everything is OK, next thing is a neurologist to check to see if a Dementia is involved. The first thing to go is the ability to reason. Your Mom probably had a dream and cannot distinguish it from reality. The stress of the holidays may not have helped but there was something wrong before the holidays.
Many thanks so much for your help and ideas-they really do help!
Or, better yet, if you can arrange an appointment before you leave to fly home and go along with her to express your concerns to her doctor.
Best of luck!!!
Things can get very stressful over the holidays (or holidaze) if that is the case then...
She could be exhausted, having a guest in her home for several days or weeks can put added stress on someone.
Being with a lot of family all at one time with a lot of noise, conversation that she may not feel a part of can be stressful.
Hearing bits and parts of conversations about financial things that may or may not concern her can be stressful.
The thought that in a few days things will go back to "normal" and she will not have company could cause her a bit of depression as well as stress.
The thought that she might be forgetting things or the though that she might need help can be stressful as is the denying that she needs the help.
And if she has friends that have "problem" kids she may be projecting that and fearful that something like that might happen to her as well.
All that aside...
Have you noticed declines that would cause you worry? Have you noticed things when you talk to her the past month, past year that would cause you to worry? If not this all might be related to stress.
If you have noticed things that cause you concern it might be a good idea to make another trip at a less stressful time and accompany her to her doctors visit and discuss your concerns then. If you can send a message to her doctor in advance. (This will only work if you are listed as someone that they can give information to on the HIPAA forms, if you are not listed they can give you NO information. So if you are not listed it might be good to have either you or your brother listed so you can obtain information)
For now...I would wait until things calm down. If she goes on ask her if this can be discussed later when you get back from a walk, or back from the store, or out of the shower..then go for a walk, go to the store, go take a nice long shower....
Unfortunately I live on the other side of the country and only get to head out to see her twice a year for a couple of weeks. She does have a caregiver/neighbor which keeps in touch about somethings but I don’t think my mum shows her true self to her. Her doctor se ms to think she would benefit from assisted living but at this time, she won’t even consider. Thanks again for the great insight and answering me back.