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maryb59 Asked March 2020

Is anyone monitoring nursing home's treatment of residents during visitor lockouts?

I am very concerned about my 97 year old mother. She has been in a nursing home for 2 years and has some dementia and confusion. I was visiting her on a daily basis until they locked out visitors because of the coronavirus several weeks ago. The staff there seemed very dedicated and pretty good about taking care of mom's needs, but since the ban on visitors I am not sure they're taking proper care of the residents. They are no longer allowed to go to the dining area for meals or activities, which I understand, but it seems like there are very few times when they're allowed to leave their rooms at all. No one takes them out for hall walks or make sure they're not just "locked in" their rooms day and night. I video chat when they allow, a few times per week, but more often than not my mom is still in her bed at 1:00, 2:00, today it was 3:00 pm! They used to get her out of bed and into her wheelchair nearly every morning. Many afternoons they haven't even put her hearing aids in. I can't imagine these poor folks having to lie in bed all day and night, not even able to hear the tv or phone calls. I don't know what to do to make sure these nursing homes that are no longer allowing visitors are not mistreating the residents. Is anyone monitoring this? I hesitate to complain because, who knows, that may make them treat her even worse. How do we know if our loved ones are being properly cared for? They can basically do whatever they want now that no one is allowed in!

Twillie Mar 2020
My mother has started having hallucinations about her baby doll. Mom is on lockdown at assisted living and has been in her room alone for three weeks. I wonder if the staff will address this or just chalk it up to dementia. I think she needs medical care for this but I have no faith she will get it. If I hadn’t asked some questions I wouldn’t have found out they weren’t giving her insulin so yes I think patient care will suffer.
NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
I’m sorry. I hope your mom’s situation improves soon. Hugs 💗.
monroeg Mar 2020
I too have a mother in a nursing home, which is only 20 miles from my house, but I haven't physically seen her since March 9th. Two days later they called me & said they were banning visitors. All I can do right now is talk to her over the phone 2-3 times a week, until I get my Google Duo set up. I do have the head social worker's email address, and if I think of any questions/ concerns, I don't hesitate to send them. I developed good relationships with her & the rest of the staff before this shutdown, and always tried to tell them I appreciated all the care & effort they put forth. If there was some issue that ticked me off, I didn't go off face to face. I voiced my displeasure thru emails & tried to calm down, before coming in the building to have a meeting. People do remember the tone of voice you use. Meanwhile, since I work 2nd shift, I often times can't sleep & I surf the net for the latest CV info as it relates to how different companies & organization s are stepping up production of masks, face shields, gowns etc. Some of these companies are in our state (N.C.) I also found out how they are coming out with test kits that give results in 45 minutes or less. I email all this info to the social worker. I'm hoping the staff will be able to buy some of these kits and supplies, so that they can make sure nobody comes in the building that poses any threat to the residents. Finally, if the home allows the family to drop off items for their loved ones, make sure if possible you wipe them down with disinfectant wipes ( food containers/ bottled drinks, etc) The virus can remain viable for hours, & even days on various surfaces. If you can't find wipes in the stores, you can go online & see how to make some. If you order items for them online, be careful how you handle the cardboard boxes they come in. Google it
God Bless

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JoAnn29 Mar 2020
Its probably easier to leave them in bed or a chair in the room. They are trying to contain this virus. It would be hard trying to make those suffering from Dementia understand that they can't leave their rooms. They would be herding people all day.

My daughter and I were talking about how people are not taking this virus seriously and why. Some have never had something like this in their lives. In my generation it was Polio. Yes, its an inconvenience. But we have to quarantine. Hospitals will be able to handle it better if we lower the spread.
maryb59 Mar 2020
I absolutely understand the need to quarantine and I agree that this is best for all right now. My concern is not one of inconvenience. My concern is that the elderly are open to abuse and/or neglect because of it. If you can put yourself in their shoes for a moment, imagine having to lie on a bed all night, but then again all day, with nothing to do but stare at the ceiling. Hour after hour. Day after day. And now, week after week! If one can't see or hear well, there is nothing to bide the time. I am so very concerned about this, not to mention bedsores etc. that may happen. Everyone is so focused on saving our elderly from the suffering and death from this virus that some are forgetting that perhaps the suffering they may be exposed to from being locked in their room, alone, in a bed, for hours on end, may just be a different kind of suffering and death for our elderly.
FloridaDD Mar 2020
This is a nightmare situation.   I can only imagine how resentful aids will feel when their laid off friends get more money than they do, with the provisions of the Corono Relief bill (unemployment 600 plus normal amounts, even if more than what they normally earn, and likely more than what aids earn).   The relief should have been structured to at least see that aids got more money than unemployed people (who will not be encouraged to look for work).

Alicew234 Mar 2020
I also worry about this topic. The workers we have met at the nursing home have been lovely but have you ever noticed how much care visitors provide to their relatives and friends every day? All those 'helpers' are gone and some staff are barred because they have symptoms or exposure to the virus. Even with the best intentions, the workers must be feeling the pressure of having to assume extra work with less staff.

Rbuser1 Mar 2020
I don't know if this is something you already do or would consider, but try to call there and speak to someone on the evening shift and just have a casual conversation with her. Kind of show some interest in what's going on there as a whole. You can find out a lot about the atmosphere of a nursing home if you get to know some of the 'workers' as people. Again, I'm not saying you don't already do this, but they have a lot on their plates now too and are away from their families.
Maybe all they can do is keep the elders separated in their rooms. Ask them to please try to get her up from the bed and you're concerned about, well basically most everything you said here.
I'm so sorry that your Mom is caught in the middle of all of this. Keep Facetiming and calling, and letting them know you are concerned with them as well as your Mom. Prayers and hugs. Take care and be safe.

NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
It’s a very sad situation. I think everyone is most likely doing as best as they possibly can.

I understand your stress. I suppose most people are stressed at this awkward time. Nothing is normal during this crisis.

Stay safe and take care 💗.

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