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Rachel76 Asked February 2020

I've been a carer for my mum for 11 years. I'm tired and can't cope with the abuse and control. Does anyone else feel like this?

Just need help with dealing with how I'm feeling.

Thehopefulcry2 Feb 2020
Yes. I have felt this like for years. I am 35 and have been living with an caring for my mother for years, but more so in depth in the last three. It is exhausting. My mother has always been abusive and controlling, but when she lost most of her control (IE she needs help with pretty much everything) it got worse. Much worse.
I write,(stories, journals, whatever) it is how I cope. Sometimes the things I write are deleted or thrown away, but it helps to get them out of my head. Maybe try to find something that is an outlet such as that, something you can control yourself.
Also keep in mind the therapy maybe helpful for you. When I was able to go, it helped me a lot. They don't care about what you "should be doing" or "how good or a child you are for doing this," they care about you and how to make you feel better.
Best of luck.

Riverdale Feb 2020
Those would be very understandable feelings. 64 is very young to be experiencing all those symptoms. I am 63 dealing with a mother who is 89 and has a number of those issues. I am not experiencing those symptoms. Must your mother continue to live with you? I would venture to say that anyone dealing with all you describe would also be facing a complex set of emotions. Perhaps you can answer some more questions for others to offer advice.

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CTTN55 Feb 2020
From your profile: "I am caring for my mother Jeannette, who is 64 years old, living at home with age-related decline, anxiety, depression, diabetes, incontinence, mobility problems, and urinary tract infection."

Please explain more about the abuse. What are your caregiving duties?

Rather than help dealing with how to cope and how you're feeling, why not consider ways to change your entire living situation? Why is your mother living with you? Do you have siblings? Do you work? Are the one who is 64, or is your mother?

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