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Caringperson123 Asked February 2020

Is it safe for an elderly couple to live in a house that's falling down infested with bugs and they can barely walk in it?

About 9 months ago my son's grandma fell and broke her femur bone so he is taking care of her at his house along with his papa... She's an extreme hoarder hes asked her to go back home cuz she walking and is 95% bettter. He and his fiance are wanting to adopt kids soon but she refuseing to move back home because of the condition their house is in. Infested with fleas, roaches, mice and rats there were like 5 dogs that were living there which are dieing off 1 by 1. The porch is falling in the house is horrible and needs to be condemmed badly but she refuses to leave my sons and we are out of options we all love her so much she just needs help her husband works 2 jobs and is willing to get them an apartment but she keeps insisting on fixing up there house the rats killed one of there dogs they've eatin holes through the cabinets its just truely destroyed and they dont have the money to do all the repairs and replace everything. my son and his fiance gave up there room for them and shes already got it packed to the ceiling with junk and ofcourse roaches are being packed to his house as well, is there anyone that could possibly help us we've all tried to talk to her but she just wont listen please helps us were begging.. thank u

AlvaDeer Feb 2020
I think that you know the answer already. It is time to enlist whatever supportive social network you can now. If you are in the USA this would be Adult Protective Services in your area. This is unsafe and I think that you recognize this. It will now be step by step in how to address it.

JoAnn29 Feb 2020
Do you live in the US. I only ask because of the use of "PaPa".

I am assuming these people are his fathers parents. If her husband is willing to get an an apartment then he needs to do it. Then he needs to tell his wife (grandma) that they are moving out. That they have worn out their welcome. Its time to stop taking advantage of their grandson. He has a life and needs to have his house back. This is a good time for your son to stand his ground. "Grandmom we have helped you get better but we need our space back." Maybe appeal to her sympathy, "Grandmom u were young, you know how it is, we need to be alone. I helped because I love you but its time for u and PaPa to get a place of your own.

Ur son should not have allowed the hoarding. Another lesson to be learned. My house, my rules. Grandma should understand this. Ur son has a right to go into that room and get rid of anything that his grandmother doesn't need. Bringing roaches in is a good reason. I would burn whatever was taken out.

Sorry, but when someone cannot or will not see the other person's reasoning, then its time for bluntness. Since Grandma is not listening it has to be directed to her husband. You need to leave. We are no longer able to have u here. You do what u need to do and YOU take grandma to another place. If son and GF have been "doing" for Grandma tell them its time to stop. She is capable of doing for herself.

When it comes to their house you need to call Adult Protection Services or even the health department. Any Animals left in the house need to be picked up by Animal Protection. This home is not just bad for the grands to move back to but for anyone living near them.

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Grandma1954 Feb 2020
These are reportable conditions.
I would contact APS, local Building and Zoning Department and possibly the Health Department.
And to answer your question...No it is not safe for ANYONE to live in the conditions you have described.

anonymous912123 Feb 2020
I would call APS and the local county inspector.

Why in the world would your son allow his mother to do this to his house? Something does make any sense here. The home must have been in ill repair for a long, long time.

Might be time for your son to leave and start a life of his own.

NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
Geeeez,

Honestly, your post sounds like a horror movie. That is so very sad. Can’t you call APS on them. That would take an enormous amount of money and time to fix up that house. I agree, most likely should be condemned. This hoarding business is a terrible mental disorder. There are some posters who have experience with parents who are hoarders. I hope they will chime in to help you.

Good luck with resolving this nasty situation.

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