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Milesaway Asked May 2019

Any experience with moving into a hospice situation in a new place from skilled nursing?

Mom is 93, my dad just passed away a few months ago at 92. She has dementia - discovered about 12 years ago- they have been in a stepped up home. Independent living since 2010 with Mom getting assisted help in the apt for 2012-14. Mom moved to a different assisted wing in 2015, and Dad stayed in the apt. (he was healthy and fine but a bit blind and deaf, but mentally all there and still golfing at 92. ) He would dine with her often but she never figured out how to return to their apt. After he passed away (from chemo for lung cancer diagnosed in Nov 2018) Mom declined. Where in January she had a wanderers bracelet on her ankle and walked all over the place, by the middle of February she did not want to walk anymore and stayed in a wheelchair. By March she was not even standing to transfer and barely spoke. She still smiles when greeted and can eat once prompted. We moved her the first week of March into the Skilled Nursing wing of the same place. While there have been issues with the move, mostly in transferring information about her from assisted to Skilled, she does seem comfortable with the people around her for the most part. She makes it clear when one of the caregivers she does not like approaches her though. I live in another state but took an apt across the street from this home so I could be there to help my father. I still have it and my sister who lives a few hours away can also stay there. Now, my Brother, POA for mom, is wanting to move her into a new place closer to him that is assisted living memory care. They will only take her if she comes in on hospice status, I worry that this change is a lot for her. I worry that they will not be able to give her the care she needs even with the Medicare "extra level of care". She can get hospice in the home she is at too. The places are about 30 minutes apart. Anyone have experiences with the outside hospice groups that come in?

Grandma1954 May 2019
Hospice...a word that seems to frighten everyone.
Hospice does not mean she WILL die within 6 months. To be eligible for Hospice means that if the course of the illness that makes a person eligible continues they might die within 6 months. My Husband with Alzheimer's and possibly Vascular dementia was on Hospice for almost 3 years.
Many facilities will take someone on Hospice because the understanding is the person will not be a "long time resident" ...but no one can foresee what will happen.
If this is a good move for your Mom
If this is a facility where she will get great care
If this will enable a family member to advocate for her, visit easily..
Then the move sounds like a positive one.

She will only know that she is moving. She does not need to know that she is on Hospice, if she would even ask or understand what it is.
All she will "care" about is that she is safe, cared for, clean, fed.
I can not say enough great things about the help that I/we got from Hospice.
Hospice is not a sign on the dotted line and you can not change your mind. If it does not work out, if you do not like what is being done, you can always talk to your brother and discuss things and that maybe you would prefer she not be on Hospice. (that might mean another move though if there is not a bed available if she goes off Hospice..but that would be something to discuss with the Hospice Social Worker as well as the facility Social Worker.)

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