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ivorylace55 Asked March 2019

Moved home 3 yrs ago to take care of mom (92) with early stages of Dementia. Now need to stay home with her full time. Can I get paid?

I had been working 40 hrs wkly while trying 2 keep eye on her. My Uncle & Aunt live very close 2 her also & sometimes check in on her off & on. They both know I moved back home after 30+ yrs of just visiting her while raising family. They both knew ahead of time I only moved home 2 take care of her as long as possible & keep her in her own house also. They said they were also aware that when I had 2 stop working & take care of her full time that WE would figure out a how much 2 pay me 2 do this full time. She had a small TIA 1st of Feb. Now her Short term is even Shorter & we have a Caregiver/Therapy Home Care person coming out 2 Evaluate her even more. So My question is I'll Be taking care of her in her home where I grew up & live in my small bedroom with everything I own when I moved here & have access 2 home also because I'm doing almost everything 4 here 24/7 now. She is very stubborn & doesn't like help. Which I know & understand. I drive her in her car most of time & help with meds & Groceries & Cooking & House Cleaning etc.. coz she's not safe with stove & trips herself when vacuuming etc.. She's using a walker now also. I want 2 Be Paid a fair wage & I have 2 find my own insurance to take care of myself also... I've see & heard about how much. From $15 - $25 +... Plus get a lawyers advice. My Uncle mentioned paying rent maybe also. I never did when I was working. So I'm getting nerves & wonder if they'll B helpful with doing what's Best 4 Mom & NOT double guess what I'm doing in home with her. They said they know it would cost her lots if I wasn't with her. I'm NOT out 2 get rich BUT I do need 2 B paid a Reasonable price 2 live on. She does have property & the means 2 pay Me 4 My Caregiving. I think I might qualify 4 Oregon Health Care 4 my Issuance if I don't make 2 much maybe? So Many Questions I need 2 find out about yet. It' could B yrs I'll B doing it also maybe?? Any Help & Suggestions I'd Appreciate from all of U that live in home while caregiving 4 them & getting paid & Not working outside of home either with your own insurance. Thank You All.

lisajean Mar 2019
Have you called Aging and People with Disabilities? You may be able to qualify as her home care worker through Oregon Medicaid waver IF they find she needs help with her ADL's and IADL's. . They will come do an assessment to determine if she qualifies. I did this for years for my adult disabled daughter. You have to take a short training, do a criminal background check and take on-going classes. If you work over 20 hours a week you also get health insurance. If your mom doesnt qualify for 20+ hours you can add a second client to get the hours you need. Like so many social services their program has been gutted over the past several years but its worth checking in to. Hope this helps.

worriedinCali Mar 2019
Have you thought about your own future? You say you could be spending years taking care of your mother. If she pays you $15-$25 an hour you won’t qualify for Medicaid. And you won’t be paying into social security and Medicare. Do you have a retirement fund?

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Lulu835 Mar 2019
why would you pay rent? Yes agree you should be paid! You will suffer alot of stress doing this for free. i pay a companion (not from an agenct) $12.50 to stay with my parent. they cook for my parent,and provide personal care such as bathing etc. Parent is capable of going to bathroom unassisted (but with some supervision) and can feed and clothe themselves. Just cannot be left alone. I know that if i contracted a service it would be anywhere from $15 -20 hour at least.
Why does your Uncle have a say in what you do? And NO! you should not pay rent. But i do suggest that you have a few back ups and a weekend person who can let you have some time to your self. I took care of my parent and tried to work at the same time with a CG who could only work about 20 hours per week. for the first couple of years. I ran my self ragged trying to keep up with everything and with no help from siblings. I didnt pay myself then and i felt taken advantage of by my siblings (future heirs). So yes you will deserve to be paid. CG for a parent is a thankless job and everyone will be sympathetic but in the end are glad that it is you and not them that are doing the work. Good Luck!

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