Contact your local elder services, they can help direct you to get a contact infor. for in home care, i.e. visiting nurses, or a private care giver on a regular basis.
Oh ya, I know !that is a great idea! I Have to get extra help ! I really think I am going to call a company tomorrow that will sit with them !oh and showers,you would think I was hurting them it's an argument every time I should hire someone just for that!!! Expecially my aunt gee she hates her shower you are right I really need a cna .THANK YOU ALL
Plus they come back when she is finished dialysis and make her comfy for the evening. At first she tried to send them away, because she would SAY she didn't need anything (and then expect me to be available). But they give her a little fussing and pampering - they're much sweeter to her than I am! - and she's come to enjoy it. Even if all she gets out of it is a cup of tea and a blanket.
That's where I have home support come. I cannot. I cannot deal with it, with the fuss of getting mom ready for dialysis, which she has to go to 3x a week. Home support workers are MUCH better at badgering her and cajoling her into getting ready, and she is better behaved for them (I think because she is terrified of being put in a home, so she puts on an act for outsiders) - plus I get to sleep in a little. Then when I come out of my room, she is ready on the couch, with her hat, shoes, and coat on and her bag packed. It's such a sweet relief.
But takeing the two of them to the doctor is like haveing adult twins ..all their equipment walkers ,wheelchairs,pads ,just all their stuff . then the deminta it takes a week to get her back to normal ,then she gets angry,thinks we took her medical cards gee it's a Hassell....so staying home is what we do most of all ..
Ya I know mom's grandkids &my kids help occasionally and I offer to pay but they won't take it....their not bad at helping it's just maybe my aunt too ,my aunt is not always nice and has deminta...accuses people of takeing her underwear,,lol,,,but I think since my mom's CHF has acted up that mom is afraid that something bad will happen if I leave like with her health ...it's so stressful. sometimes I just go outside to the barn and scream!!!
Also, if you can (this should come out of your mom's funds), please get some more home support if you can. You need some time for yourself, everyone does.
Also: I established a communication log between me and the home support, and another between me and the nurses. Anything they need to say to me, or ask me, goes in the notebook, as does my response.
I really hate the phone as it is. I am a phone avoider. I miss the days of not having a phone with me 24/7 and people not expecting you to be available on demand.
@Lorraine2 - I don't have it that bad in that mom doesn't phone me if I go out. Fortunately, or unfortunately, she has lost the ability to dial a phone number without my help.
Do you mean the caregiver/sitter is calling you, when you say they are calling you when you go out? I had that problem with the nursing staff where my mom goes to dialysis. Literally my only real break from mom is when she goes to dialysis, and in the beginning, they were calling me several times during that 5 hour span. I really had to put my foot down and went to the renal unit social worker. I mean, sometimes they were calling me for ridiculous things: mom wanted me to bring her a snack or whatever. (It's in the hospital; I KNOW there is food in the hospital!) Tell them not to call you unless there is serious emergency, like the ambulance is on the way. You have to be firm. I have found some health care workers do NOT respect your right to your own schedule until you put your foot down! Otherwise, they think we should be on call 24/7.
If your mom is calling you from inside the house (that looks creepy when I write it out!), give her number a special ring tone and just DO NOT ANSWER when you are home. Stuff it under your pillow until it stops ringing. Be strong and don't feel guilty about it AT ALL. I know that's easier said than done, but you have to stick up for your own boundaries, because no one else will.
I get out at least 1x per week but the entire time they are ,calling me my mom doesn't even want me to go outside ,I don't wanna feel aggravated bUT I do....then I feel guilty ,it's kinda funny I'll be in my bedroom next to the liveing room door open & she's calling my phone...1 room away !
I get out at least 1x per week but the entire time they are ,calling me my mom doesn't even want me to go outside ,I don't wanna feel aggravated bUT I do....then I feel guilty ,it's kinda funny I'll be in my bedroom next to the liveing room door open & she's calling my phone...1 room away !
You're not alone. Get a caregiver at least once a week for 4 hours. Twice is even better. I did it today so that I could go get migraine injections without having to take DH and Father with me. That would have been an experience. Blessings, Jamie
I am dealing with this too, Lorraine2. You're not alone! I have company coming in a few minutes but I'll come back to this thread a little later this evening.
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. then the deminta it takes a week to get her back to normal ,then she gets angry,thinks we took her medical cards gee it's a Hassell....so staying home is what we do most of all ..
Can you get her into an adult day program at all?
I really hate the phone as it is. I am a phone avoider. I miss the days of not having a phone with me 24/7 and people not expecting you to be available on demand.
Do you mean the caregiver/sitter is calling you, when you say they are calling you when you go out? I had that problem with the nursing staff where my mom goes to dialysis. Literally my only real break from mom is when she goes to dialysis, and in the beginning, they were calling me several times during that 5 hour span. I really had to put my foot down and went to the renal unit social worker. I mean, sometimes they were calling me for ridiculous things: mom wanted me to bring her a snack or whatever. (It's in the hospital; I KNOW there is food in the hospital!) Tell them not to call you unless there is serious emergency, like the ambulance is on the way. You have to be firm. I have found some health care workers do NOT respect your right to your own schedule until you put your foot down! Otherwise, they think we should be on call 24/7.
If your mom is calling you from inside the house (that looks creepy when I write it out!), give her number a special ring tone and just DO NOT ANSWER when you are home. Stuff it under your pillow until it stops ringing. Be strong and don't feel guilty about it AT ALL. I know that's easier said than done, but you have to stick up for your own boundaries, because no one else will.
Blessings,
Jamie