CMag, we know literally nothing about the OP except that she - he? We don't even know which - finds it difficult to communicate pleasantly with her - his? - mother.
It does not sound like she is a healthy influence upon a family with children. Why did you take her in? Are you hoping to have the kind of relationship that you have never had with her by doing this? She's not going to change and I imagine that at some point your husband is going to get tired of having her around and frustrated over her hurting you. What does he think and feel about all of this? She's going to be a bad influence on your children also.
My mother has been critical of me my whole life (critical is actually an understatement) and my siblings were surprised that I took her in.
I will admit, it was very tough at first and I have spend a lot of time questioning the decision to have her here. She criticized my manner, my tone, my parenting, the way I interacted with my husband. We came very close to some real ugly stuff when she criticized my children. She has been here two years now and things have just gotten better (for now, but hopefully forever). I think it is a combination of my change of attitude and her mental decline. It is sad to say but I don't love her* and no longer care what she thinks of me so she can no longer hurt me. Taking care of her is just a job. Also, it seems that she has recently mellowed and her criticisms seemed to have lessened. We still have our moments but now I laugh more than I cry when she compares me poorly to my good for nothing brothers or accuses me of trying to hurt her or any number of things that used to bother me.
*I still have the familial love that you have for a parent but not the adoring love that some people have for their parents.
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CMag, we know literally nothing about the OP except that she - he? We don't even know which - finds it difficult to communicate pleasantly with her - his? - mother.
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I will admit, it was very tough at first and I have spend a lot of time questioning the decision to have her here. She criticized my manner, my tone, my parenting, the way I interacted with my husband. We came very close to some real ugly stuff when she criticized my children. She has been here two years now and things have just gotten better (for now, but hopefully forever). I think it is a combination of my change of attitude and her mental decline. It is sad to say but I don't love her* and no longer care what she thinks of me so she can no longer hurt me. Taking care of her is just a job. Also, it seems that she has recently mellowed and her criticisms seemed to have lessened. We still have our moments but now I laugh more than I cry when she compares me poorly to my good for nothing brothers or accuses me of trying to hurt her or any number of things that used to bother me.
*I still have the familial love that you have for a parent but not the adoring love that some people have for their parents.