My father has Dementia and yells at my mother from sun up to sundown every day and is even violent toward her and myself. The stress is getting to my mother and she just cannot handle him anymore. We have a case with APS (Adult Protection Services), we've asked his doctor to help us get him into a nursing home but all they did was 10-13 him and he was sent to a mental institution for 72 hours and there the doctor has refused to help us get him into a nursing home. Furthermore my father is set to be released from that facility and even though my Mom has told them that she does not want him back home as she fears for her life and that she can no longer handle him they are bringing him home. We both are at our wits end so does anyone know how we can get him into a nursing home?
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I think you need to ask the discharge folks "do you think he can safely be cared for in a home environment by my elderly mother, with no additional supports in place?" The key word is SAFELY
and
What should we do if he threatens bodily harm to us? What should we do if he becomes non-compliant with his meds? What should we do if he presents a danger to himself and others?
Has anyone suggested a long term psychiatric committment? What level of care do the discharge people think he needs?
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Have you contacted your county area on aging ? Perhaps a social worker can discuss options with you
It may be that your father doesn't need skilled nursing in a facility but medication to calm his behavior making his needs more custodial in nature
Having seen disturbing behavior at my mom's memory care facility over the past year, it is a very difficult thing to cope with and unfortunately when the mind is not working and agitation becomes aggressive then there is not much you can do but medicate
Depending on your finances have you looked into placement in a memory care facility or residential group home ?