My father has Dementia and yells at my mother from sun up to sundown every day and is even violent toward her and myself. The stress is getting to my mother and she just cannot handle him anymore. We have a case with APS (Adult Protection Services), we've asked his doctor to help us get him into a nursing home but all they did was 10-13 him and he was sent to a mental institution for 72 hours and there the doctor has refused to help us get him into a nursing home. Furthermore my father is set to be released from that facility and even though my Mom has told them that she does not want him back home as she fears for her life and that she can no longer handle him they are bringing him home. We both are at our wits end so does anyone know how we can get him into a nursing home?

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He has been started on new meds to keep him from being more agitated whether they work or not remains to be seen. When my Mom expressed concerns about him coming home the people at the facility he was at were no help because they don't seem to think anything is wrong with my father because he wasn't agitated there. We are going to check into some memory care places but if Medicaid won't pay for them then we won't be able to do them as we have limited finances.
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so, he is currently in a psychiatric facility? Have they started him on meds to keep him less agitated and delusional?

I think you need to ask the discharge folks "do you think he can safely be cared for in a home environment by my elderly mother, with no additional supports in place?" The key word is SAFELY


What should we do if he threatens bodily harm to us? What should we do if he becomes non-compliant with his meds? What should we do if he presents a danger to himself and others?

Has anyone suggested a long term psychiatric committment? What level of care do the discharge people think he needs?
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It is only a suggestion but until someone with direct experience can respond

Have you contacted your county area on aging ? Perhaps a social worker can discuss options with you

It may be that your father doesn't need skilled nursing in a facility but medication to calm his behavior making his needs more custodial in nature

Having seen disturbing behavior at my mom's memory care facility over the past year, it is a very difficult thing to cope with and unfortunately when the mind is not working and agitation becomes aggressive then there is not much you can do but medicate

Depending on your finances have you looked into placement in a memory care facility or residential group home ?
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