Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
S
SCDaughter Asked February 2017

Great grandchildren moving, so my mom will be alone. Any suggestions for helping her through this period?

My parents lived across the street from my son and daughter-in-law. They have helped to care for the 2 great grandchildren that have come along. Daily care! The oldest is now 7. My Father passed away 2 years ago. My mother continues to be very involved with my sons family. He has now taken another job in VA. My mother is very involved in her church. Lives alone now and can care for herself. She is truly grieving this move. My mother lives in SC. I have a brother in NC and one in TN. My husband and I live in WV. Any suggestions for helping her through this period? We have asked if she would like to move with any of us. She has declined. She is 78 years old.

97yroldmom Feb 2017
That's so good. I'm glad you visit often. Life has ups and downs. Our age doesn't protect us from them. I would listen to what she says she wants to do. She will of course miss them but I'm sure will cheer them on. She sounds like she is in great shape and has a wonderful loving family to support her.

SCDaughter Feb 2017
Thank you all for suggestions. We do all visit her often. Her house is well taken care of! She facetimes and texts. She is adamant that she isn't leaving her house. FaceTime is wonderful, but not the same. The kids are moving to VA. She is just in such a negative place! I've asked about "happy pills". She said she is on them I wonder if they need to be adjusted! Do y'all think taking her on a trip to see another great grand child in FL at the time of the move would be a positive or negative thought? She doesn't really like to travel! I am usually there (her daughter) every month to six weeks. I've been there with her for 2 knee replacements, double hernia surgery and waiting to hear about carpel tunnel surgery! My husband is still working! I have thought about getting her a small apartment near the kids when they find a place.

ADVERTISEMENT


geewiz Feb 2017
Hmm you asked if Mom would like to move with any of her children. She (wisely) declined. As an alternative, would she consider moving to an adult community near any of you? She may decline this as well, but she is still young enough to make new friends in such a community. AND she may consider htis option over time.
97 yearoldmom has some excellent ideas for the transition.

97yroldmom Feb 2017
See if you can visit her soon to help make sure a support system is in place. She may have it all covered but you need to know who she would call for different things. You need a list of her friends and clergy and doctors and their numbers in case you have to follow up. While she was babysitting the children I suspect she was also being checked on by her grandson and his wife. Is her home in good repair? Is it safe? Perhaps you could have someone check it out. Ask her grandson if he knows of any issues that might be needing attention. School will be out in a few months. Hopefully some plans are being made for summer visits.

Sunnygirl1 Feb 2017
Oh, that's heartbreaking. I know it's for your son's job, but, moving from great grandma with the kids she helped raise! OMG. It must be so painful. I was raised with and by my grandparents and great grandparents and there was a VERY strong bond. Nothing in my life was as important as those early years with my grandparents and great grandparents.

I know that she may have attachments to her community, church, and home, but, if your son could swing it, I'd ask her to move with me to VA. I realize that may not be a popular answer, but, I suppose that I'm biased. lol I would at least offer.

I'd just keep giving her lots of support, cards, calls and hope that your son and his wife try to keep that communication between the kids and her going. It's just not the same when you move away.

Oh, when I started school, my parents moved to an adjacent county where the schools were better. In anticipation, my grandparents and great grandparents, SOLD their house and bought one near where we had moved! Just to stay near me and my brother. Families handle things differently, but, I sure do hope your mom and the great grand kids can stay close, like I did with mine. It's priceless.

pamstegma Feb 2017
Try not to move her, she has a social network where she is. Just keep in touch weekly. Send her a valentine, an Easter gift, visit on Mother's Day if you can.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter