Is this rude?

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OK... this may sound a bit superficial... BUT Before I brought Dad to live with me I did fitness competitions! I hiked, I lifted weights... I was in the gym at least 5 days a week. At first, I would try to prepare multiple meals but that got old very quickly. Once I put him in IL / AL I never really got back on track. Well, NO MORE. This leaves me in a slight pickle, however. Since Dad moved to my city, I started taking him to a local, greasy spoon diner. It just so happened to be my "cheat day" so I didn't think a pancake or two would hurt. Well, I don't know if it's dementia (routine) or Dad just likes the place, but I get up every Saturday morning and drag him to this diner. The thing is... it's a DINER. I have tried to find a healthy option or two on the menu, and no go (processed turkey sausage... egg white omelet drenched in butter...no oatmeal on the menu). Dad gets testy if I just have coffee (although I'd prefer my Starbucks to whatever weak concoction they are selling), and he eats better if I eat with him. The 25 pounds I've put on can't take the diner anymore, and honestly, I'm SICK of that food. I remember when I visited the diner when I did a cleanse last year, and the waitress rather rudely informed me that my green tea bag and green juice were NOT allowed, so I'm thinking it may not even be an option for me to bring my own food. I don't want to be rude to the staff, and I want Dad to be happy. Any suggestions on a happy medium?

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This was my dad and I for two years every weekend.
THE diner. He would have poached eggs (that took 30min because it was 'special' ) and a glass of red wine YUCK!
I could never figure out what to eat because it was all fattening and tasted the same. I would have my 'cheat' beer and....... gee I cannot remember what i had.....
he died a few months ago...i miss my friend and my weight didnt change so i guess the diner wasnt the reason.
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Well, if you are regulars at this place and if you are diplomatic about it you can probably get the kitchen to accommodate you in time, especially if you come in when it isn't crowded. If this is a busy place items like the veggies may have been prepared in bulk in advance so asking for them to be made differently may be more of a problem than you might think, but an egg white omelette should be easy enough. Understand though that the yolk is half the egg, so you either need to be satisfied with less or pay for more, it's a diner, not a charity. As others have pointed out, one egg, (fried or not won't break your diet) and dry toast are the easiest option.
And yes, I cooked breakfast in a "diner" for years.
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Thanks for the input everyone. So, last week I tried to put some of the suggestions to use... AND

Dad would not even consider going somewhere else Narcissism + Dementia = choosing my battles so I continued to suck it up and off to the diner we went.

I scoured the menu for healthy options I may have missed. The verdict: They do not serve oatmeal (only greasy grits - which are AWESOME but not in line with my fitness goals). I asked for an egg white omelette with veggies cooked in light (preferably NO) butter and you should have seen the stares. In fact, it took the waitress two visits to the kitchen and a manager visiting the table to clarify what I meant. Even then I felt like the "food snob" AND they ended up charging me twice as much for all of the substitutions!

I get it. A DINER isn't really geared towards healthy foods, so me coming in there all high and mighty with my egg white and green tea preference doesn't go over well.

...and I'm not completely rigid. I do enjoy cheat meals. I would just rather forego greasy breakfast for a burger and a beer later that evening, and in my world, dessert is WORTH the wait.

Sometimes I am challenged by essentially leaving behind everything I had before taking care of Dad for the sake of his happiness (translation - avoiding his angry outbursts). I feel like I've lost enough of myself in this journey... I would like to at least keep breakfast.

Final decision: Forget about the slice of chocolate cheesecake I really want and spend MY cheat day calories on a meal I want...for Daddy :(
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PCVS: I suggested McD's because she wanted oatmeal and they sell some really oatmeal there.
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McDonalds is not a healthy alternative to diner food. Is there perhaps a better diner you could try? Diners are not all created equal. In any case, choose a low carb alternative such as 3 egg omelet without potatoes and only one slice of toast if you must have some carbs.
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Most of the diners we took dad too, and hubs still loves them,, offer some sort of fruit (as was said above).. I often get a scrambled egg and wheat toast. Or an english muffin?
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Tell your father the "little white lie" story, e. g. "Dad, I can no longer afford the diner, so how about we go to McDonald's?" I know that they serve oatmeal and it's quite good. I always stop there when I have an early doctor appointment and don't have time at home to fix breakfast. I, too, would be angry if made me gain 25 pounds!
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I would still take your dad to the diner; enjoy this time with him while you have it. Don't they have healthy choices on the menu?

Drink water and eat an apple before you go out; that will curb your appetite. Go for a brisk walk or work out after your meal. You have to burn more calories than you take in to lose weight.


Good Luck
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Some of us really can't skip meals either as a solution. That happens to be my most consistent migraine trigger - either being late for lunch or just eating way less than I am hungry for. I have to pick filling foods and not high calorie low-fiber or I'm in trouble.
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To the folks who say one bad meal a week is not going to wreck a diet...well, here
is the math - 500 extra calories x 7 meals = 1 pound. And high fat high sugar foods give you a "taste" for more. And some of those places do not even have skim milk, or they maybe have 2%. I would hope that maybe a talk with the management at Dad's favorite diner would let you sneak some of your own stuff in. Henry used to bring his own turkey sausage to a couple places that did not stock it so he could get a better breakfast and they would put it in a sandwich for him.

They say that one of the best ways to lose weight is to get all the higher-calorie temptation foods out of your house - and if you have ever been unable to do that because someone else in the house needs them, you know they are totally right! This is not easy to watch others to eat "regular" food while you try to eat what you really need to eat, and I think there really are better solutions than asking our poster to just suck it up or calling her selfish just for wanting some better ideas too!
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