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Looking for things mom could do to feel useful... she used to assemble newsletters for church and organizations but no one does paper newsletters anymore. She could maybe work on putting craft kits together or something... for kids... any kind of menial repetitive task that cg could help her with. I'd like to try her out w/ something like that to see if she will easily engage. She needs a purpose, even if for only certain times a day or week. Thoughts?

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Everyone needs a sense of purpose:

1. Folding laundry
2. Putting silverware from the dishwasher away in the silverware drawer.
3. Dry swiffering the floor (dry mop only)
4. Pick up pine cones in yard and put them in a bucket.
5. Peel potatoes.
6. Water color paintings. I display some around the home.
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Reply to brandee
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My grandmother (soon to be 99) is the resident towel folder. She is so excited about her accomplishments. We also have her sort things like pencils from a pencil box so that I can put the markers into a different box. We are a family of five so sometimes we ask her to pair all of the shoes in front of the shoe rack. With cooking, she will shuck corn or leafy greens. We also ask her to put the silverware on the dinner table. She gets that all kinds of wrong, however we just silently trade pieces as we eat. The other thing is laundry. We wash all of her clothes and he puts then away wherever she pleases. Lol. Outside, if we are weeding, we ask her to point to the weeds so that we can pull them. Sometimes we paint simple things--or no real things--depending on how you look at it. Throwing a huge pile of papers in a room (like old mail) and asking her to put everything neatly back into a pile is good as well. We tell her we need a neat pile so it will fit into a recycle bin neatly. She like candy, so having her pick out all of the blue candy from a stack is always a treat because then she gets to eat the blue ones. We save the rest for a different day. We used to have her "wash dishes" and stack them in the dishwasher but that got too cumbersome. Basically we take her out one day and then she does two household activities the next day. The third day we play by ear. Honestly, it doesnt matter since she doesnt recall doing many of the activities 🙄. Shower day is a whome thing and she showers by herself. Oh! You can get a deck of Uno or regular cards, pick a number, and then ask her to save you from yourself and pull out all of the 4s, or yellows, or Jacks, or whatever. It doesn't have to be real. And if she gets tired, just congratulate her on saving you TON of time and thank her profusely before letting her know that you now have the bandwidth to finish the task up. It's like having a toddler, and asking them to use their muscles to help you carry a super duper "heavy" bag into the house. 😉
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Reply to GrandpasFavGirl
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I understand. Some people are forever workers. You say her dementia is mild. My mother, too, wanted to help, not just to be taking up space. She had a dog to take care of back then, but she also kept trying to take care of household chores, which caused a few disasters. That time was difficult. I'd try to set her up with folding laundry, rearranging the silverware drawer, organizing cupboards, and such. In assisted living they had her set the table for meals. When her Alzheimer's progressed she forgot about helping for the most part. However, she really enjoyed having the battery activated interactive toy dog and cat I got for her. She thought they were real, took them for walks around the assisted living home, talked to them, even tried to feed them. Once she asked me if I thought there was something wrong with the dog, that maybe it wasn't real, but otherwise she enjoyed its company, as it barked, wagged its tail, sat up and down when touched. The cat wasn't as interesting to her, but she'd pet it and try to calm it when it meowed.
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Reply to ArtistDaughter
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Let her spend her days as she wishes! She has dementia and can’t be trained (much) to do new tasks. Give her a baby doll to carry around. Let her assemble giant Legos if she enjoys that. That’s enough. She doesn’t need a trained monkey! Just peace.
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Reply to Fawnby
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Being a caregiver means being flexible and creative. For my 100-yr old Aunt with advanced dementia I would have her fold a large quantity of kitchen towels several times a day, sort colored poker chips, and read aloud to me. I had to continuously keep her on task. Having her do those activities was less about "purpose" and more about wearing her out so that she slept better at night (which she did). You yourself can come up with envelopes and papers to stuff them with. You don't have to tell her it's not real. Can her fingers even do such a task? My Mom's are full of arthritis and she'd probably get 50 papercuts in the process.

You cannot be your Mom's entertainment committee - it requires too much of your time and energy. Why do you think she needs a purpose? What's she doing most of the day? Watching tv? Sleeping? Nothing?

More info would be helpful.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Geaton777 9 hours ago
The first time my Aunt sorted the poker chips, to my surprise (and without me asking her to do it) she arranged them in an intricate symmetrical pattern instead. She had been a graphic designer in her working years. There's no wrong answer in the task. It was a poignant reminder that she was still "in there".
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