Moving father-in-law (95) to memory care. Do we tell him or just move him?

I think it depends on his level of dementia. If his memory is very poor, telling him in advance may not make any difference. From my experience with taking my cousin, in retrospect, I would now only explain it shortly before leaving. If they are able to comprehend it, you might talk about him going to AL for rehab, to help with balance, memory, nutrition and medication, but I not say when. Still, they may forget after you tell him. So, to me, a short time between explaining and leaving the house causes less time for upset.

Telling him repeatedly will only raise his anxiety level if he remembers. It would do nobody any good to tell him over and over if he will not femember it anyway. What some have done when their loved one wants to go home is to tell them they are in a memory rehab where therapies are workingg with hin to help make his memory better.

Where are you moving him from? Home, or another facility? How good/bad is his short term memoty? If you tell him something today, will he remember it tomorrow?