I grew up with a dysfunctional mother. She is very happy with my brother but she has made it known throughout my life that I was her disappointment. I had anxiety, panic attacks and lonlieness since I was a child. She loves telling the story about my kindergarten teacher writing on my report card " i hope your daughter finds happiness". I could not understand why a five year old could be so unhappy. Recently, while she was giving one of her hundredth speeches of how our problems since I was two were all my fault. I was a difficult child and she had to promise my father to stop hitting me or she would never be able to stop. I moved in with her to help her and myself financially. I have tried so hard all my life to please her. I feel like I need to check myself in to a hospital. I keep wondering if I have anything to live for. Not that I would do anything to myself but I feel like I will have nothing to live for after this. My brother tells me not to have any confrontations with her, no now I have to keep my mouth shut whenever she talks mean or is accusing me of something, and that is all the time. He also talks to me like I am to do whatever he tells me to. I feel so damaged. Has anyone ever made it through this type of life?