My boyfriend and I were looking for a house together when his elderly aunt was told she could no longer live alone and begged him to let her live with us. We discussed it and since she is his only living blood relative and I knew and like her, we tossed out our ideas of a dream home and purchased one more suited to her mobility issues. It's a beautiful house and we are happy here. We scrapped vacation plans and adjusted our work schedules to be sure she would not be left alone too much. She is capable of being left for short periods at a time. There are caregivers, nurses and therapists thst come during the week while we work. My own parents have come in on week ends when we have had errands to run that would have us away too long. However, he and I try to get a dare in every couple of weeks. A movie or a late dinner after feeding her or even just a walk. Well, we try to give her notice. "Friday we are taking in a show. We can have someone come in you'd like or set you up with everything you need and we are only a call away. We'll keep the phone on vibrate." I can't tell you how many times we've scrapped plans because she was "not feeling well." If I hear the words, "I'm not long for this world. You have plenty of time for that nonsense" I might scream! We started going out anyway. She pouted and refused to eat dinner! Feels a lot like raising a 3 year old again. This last time, we had a movie planned on a Friday night. She was advised on Wednesday. She suddenly started feeling "funny". On Thursday, we wanted to take her to the doctor. She refused. Friday afternoon, she told her nurse she had shortness vof breath and was promptly was rushed to the ER. After numerous tests, the doctor told her and my BF there was nothing wrong. He brought her home. She was all chipper and happy. No signs of shortness of breath. When he told her we would be taking in a matinee the following day, she became a feeble old woman again. She also said, "Well, I can't go." to which he replied, "My dates don't require a chaperone." She refused to eat nearly all day the following day (She's diabetic!). Before and after our outing! Sunday morning she was starving and not the least bit under the weather. How does one deal with this drastic manipulation? We are with her 98% of our time away from work. He had a talk with her about crying wolf too many times and how catastrophic that could be for her but she became defensive and refused to acknowledge her game playing. We both equally care for her, though I still feel she views me as the outsider. When there are no plans for us to go out - or when we take HER out - we all get along beautifully and there are no issues.