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Lm3689 Asked October 2015

Recently widowed grandma feels lost. Any help?

My grandmother has recently become widowed after being with my grandpa for over 60 years. They were very dependent on each other. My grandma is going through the stages of grieving but she is very lonely. She lives in a relatively small town and while some of our family still lives there, some of us have also moved towards the "city" for our jobs and whatnot. I'm just looking for
Suggestions on how to deal with this stage in her life. It is sad and I understand that she went from being always with him and now she's realizing he's gone and she feels lost. She can drive and is completely independent so if she found a craft group she would be able to get there herself. Thank you in advance for any help. I really appreciate it.

Paradise76 Oct 2015
Get your mom involved in as many things as is physically possible. Maybe she could start her own group in something she enjoys...knitting, book club, etc. Another idea is to pull out pics & things that involved both she & your grandfather and make scapebooks for you, your family & friends. This could turn into a group where she will realize she did this all by herself (I mean she started something others will enjoy too)

Charlotte6 Oct 2015
Yes, wonderful ideas up above.
Church is excellent.
If there is a Catholic church, find out about The Legion of Mary or St Vincent de Paul - both visit the elderly AND both are overjoyed to have new members. Both groups have wonderful fellowship amongst their members.
All churches have either themselves or are linked to care and craft groups.

There's also
bingo - card afternoons - singing groups - gardening groups - coffee mornings here and there - becoming a teacher aid for primary school children who need a hand - etc..
Big hug to you and to your grandmother. Bthe idea of phone calls is good too. How about having turns to have grandma for a stay over week end so that she'd be "away" from home and catch up more closely with the various family branches.

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BarbBrooklyn Oct 2015
I agree with all of Maggie's terrific ideas. Has gram ever thought about selling her house in the little town and moving to a senior apartment in the city? It might be to soon to suggest it, but moving to Independent Living solved my mom's "I'm lonely" problem.

MaggieMarshall Oct 2015
Steer gram towards church. That's such a wonderful place to make friends and pick up the pieces of a shattered life. If you live close enough for an occasional weekend trip, go with her a few times. When you go, engage other people on gram's behalf. Be certain to go early and stay for coffee-and if they serve it. Many do.

See if her area has a senior center. If so, get a list of their programs and run some of them by gram to see if any interest her. Maybe they even have day trips. Check with the local library. See if they have a book club.

I'm thinking she's in her late 70s, so volunteering might be.a stretch, but never know what might interest her. You might investigate opportunities for her. Hospital, food pantry. If she has any friends, encourage her to ask them to lunch occasionally.

Maybe you could coordinate family so that she gets at least two or three calls a week. Ask her to write out her recipes for the family which will keep her a little busy. Then put them together for her to give as gifts. Encourage her to reach out to neighbors. If she knits or crochets, ask her to make you an afghan...or one for ALL the grandkids when she finishes yours. Get her a 5 or 6 year old little dog to keep her company.

That's all I can think of right now, but I'm sure others will have some great ideas.

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