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bettylu2 Asked May 2015

How can I handle the stress? Newly diagnosed diabetic and stress of husband with ALZ doesn't help.

I laugh when all suggestions say eliminate stress in your life. Divorce is the only answer if I want to eliminate stress. I always said if he came down with ALZ he would be an angry person. He's not physically abusive and I know it is not his fault that he has this disease, but it's not healthful for me either. I probably sound selfish, but it's to the point that I will expire first due to the stress i.e. chest pains, headaches, diabetes etc. I'm 66 and he is 68

bettylu2 May 2015
Thanks for answering my post Windyridge. My H. who is in denial, isn't ready for daycare or any place but home. He believes he can do all of the things he used to do and he just makes a mess of everything he touches. He never used to be like that. I've reached the point of hating, resenting and being broken hearted.

Windyridge May 2015
My mother is dealing with the very same issues with my dad and it's very tough for her to lose the husband she used to know. The simplest things are a struggle with him. It's so hard for her to not get mad at him but he just can't reason at all with his dementia. He's still home with mom but it won't be long before he needs to be in a memory care facility and that will be a horrible transition for them. I don't know if your husband is at that point yet, but you need to start planning ahead. With dementia you deal with two different people, the one you used to know and love and the totally different reality with dementia. I tell mom to try and remember dad like he was in the old days but to disconnect that from today's reality. If we're unable to get him in care when the time comes I think she will get to hate and resent him and be broken hearted at the same time.

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