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AskaleM Asked November 2014

Mom doesn't want to go to the clinic, listen to us and is losing her appetite from day to day. Any advice?

We don't know what to do anymore. My mom is about 70 years old. Nothing makes her happy anymore. She just wants to sleep all day & night long. Doesn't want to go to the doctor, doesn't want to eat doesn't listen to us. Its so frustrating and we don't know what to do anymore.

My sister suggeted we give her some nutrition supplements. She has hight blood pressure and has diabetic - the one where you don't have to eat sweets. Is that a good idea? If so, what kind shall I buy for her?

Thank you

AskaleM1 Nov 2014
Thank you so much Countrymouse and Sophe509.

Yes there were lots of things that were upsetting her. She became so sensitive after she reached 60 years old. She was most of her life a stubborn person but it started getting worth day by day. Now she feels helpless which is breaking me down. I miss her stubbornness.

Unfortunately, she doesn't listen to anyone and her friends kept a very big distance from her. Sorry, I am throwing full of negative words here but I really couldn't find a solution by myself.

- Yes, I think she is depressed. I am trying to find a doctor who can go to my sisters home, where she is staying, and treat her since she is refusing to go to the hospital.

- Yes, the multivitamin is a good idea. I am going to buy one for her today.

Thank you so much all for your comforting advice. It helps to talk to people about it who understands and give you advices. I really appreciate it and I am always open to ideas and suggestions. I will do whatever I have to do to make her better.

sophe509 Nov 2014
No interest in eating, no interest in activities and too much sleeping are all signs of depression. See this link at the Mayo Clinic: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/symptoms/con-20032977
This is treatable but she will need to see a doctor to get the proper antidepressant medications. Or it could be a medical condition in any event, an evaluation by a good geriatric doctor is certainly a good idea. In the meantime, physical touching if appropriate to her culture (like a hand massage) would at least be comforting to her. The nutritional supplement seems like a good idea but someone will need to work with her to get her to drink it. A good multivitamin also might be good and probably won't hurt. It's hard to be so far away from your Mom when she's not doing well. Good luck.

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Countrymouse Nov 2014
Has anything happened that would have upset your mother recently? - anything that might make her feel depressed or hopeless?

If she won't listen to her children, does she have any good friends or perhaps a pastor locally who might have a talk with her and try to find out what's wrong?

Good nutrition is always a help, but the chances are that while she's feeling like this she'll just push away anything special you try to offer her. It's very difficult when you're so far from her, I'm sorry you have this worry.

AskaleM1 Nov 2014
Thank you both pamstegman and ba8alou. I should have mentioned that I live in the US but she lives back home which is in Ethiopia. My sisters are taking care of her but I am helping from here.

I think both Hospice and geriatric psychiatrist will be helpful but I am not sure if we have those back home. I will do a research.

Thank you. I will appreciate any additional suggestions and comments.

BarbBrooklyn Nov 2014
J you might get her to a geriatric psychiatrist. Tell her some story, it's a requirement of her insurance company.

pamstegma Nov 2014
Ask Hospice to come in and evaluate her. They can differentiate between depression and failure to thrive.

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