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debbies1056 Asked August 2014

My Mom had a severe heart attack a few months ago, she is not the same. Any advice?

She actually died and was brought back. She says she is in wrong house and forgot all her bills, want go back to doctor or take meds. she remembers years ago but not yesterday. she thinks we switch houses on her. This goes on everyday about the house. One day its right, the next she claims we move her, we just agree should we tell her it is her one and only house?

freqflyer Aug 2014
debbies1056, another suggestion, have a doctor check your Mom for a Urinary Tract Infection, as I have been reading on this website that can cause some major memory issues if not treated [which took me totally by surprise that a UTI could do that].

LizWagner Aug 2014
After my father in law had a heart attack, then a case of shingles from h*ll, we thought he was a goner. He was wasting away right before our eyes: so weak, I had to FEED him, as he could barely lift a fork. Turns out an anti-seizure medication he was taking can build up in your system. A blood test showed he was WAAAY over limit. (Due to our faithfulness to give him his meds- go figure). As soon as we stopped it, he came "back to life." Do ask about meds.

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sherry1anne Aug 2014
Since this is an on and off condition with her not remembering, I would look into her meds first thing.

RonnieBray Aug 2014
You have to bear with her. Obviously, some changes have taken place. Be kind, tolerant, patient and loving. Whatever condition she is in, she will always be your sister. If she is strange to you, try to imagine how strange her life now seems to her, and be utterly compassionate.

She is suffering from short-term/recent memory loss, a condition that often affects those whose heart has been stopped and whose brain has been deprived of oxygen for any length of time.

I see the advice already offered to you, but please understand that your sister may now be unable to process information however kindly it is given to her. That uis why you need to be the understandingone and be as gentle and kind to her as possible.

It is a folly to believe that firmness will make her understand what she has gone through and settle her mind. If she were capable of understanding she would have understood by now.

Whether time will heal her or bring back her lost memory, time alone can tell. But, whatever happens, she is as she is, and if she does not change, improve, or recover, then your role is to make her as happy and as comfortable as possible.

Talk about the old times; the times she does remember, and if there are friends from those years, have them visit her to talk about them.
You can be as affirming as you need to be if it will settle her mind. If, however, as seems likely from what you say, then you might just have to go along with her if it helps her find her way through the confusion that her condition has imposed.

What she remembers, does not remember, or imagines has happened to her is, to her, superlatively real, and no amount of mental gymnastics, trickery, or hocus-pocus psychobabble course corrections suggested by the well-meaning but uninformed will change that unless and until [IF] she recovers her memory sufficiently to know this for herself.

Until then, take the philosophical view that she is safe and well and keep her that way. I have found it is best not to argue with what may be delusions because all that results from that approach is tension, hurt feelings, unhappiness, depression and misery for all concerned.

Be grateful that your sister has survived, despite the changes you see in her.



I wish you the very best of luck with your dear sister. The future, no one knows. However, you can make it the best you can by being loving, kind, and gentle, as sisters ought to be to their loved ones that are hurt.

:)

MaggieMarshall Aug 2014
Tell her the truth. When she begins going off the rails, look her in the eye with a kind and concerned expression, and tell her that she had a heart attack. That since then, she has been confused, and that her mind is tricking her right now. Explain that she's lived in her home for X years, that she was in the hospital (and maybe rehab?) for a while, and that's why she's confused.

Rinse. Repeat.

EaseLiving Aug 2014
She could also have an anoxic brain injury which is what happens when the brain is deprived of oxygen for too long. I agree with the others- talk to the MD.

slpearson Aug 2014
Sure sounds like a medication side effect. I am sure, after a heart attack, they loaded her up with new meds. See the doctor.

bradp65 Aug 2014
What did her doctor say about her situation?

freqflyer Aug 2014
Speak to your Mom's cardiologist, sometimes there are side effects from the medicine she might be taking.

pamstegma Aug 2014
Her doctor should be making recommendations for her care.

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