When one parent is frail but healthy, and the other has Alzheimer's. What's the ideal living situation?

Judda, one of the facilities that I talked with would have placed them together if they were both in memory care. I could not see this happening how depressing for the one without dementia! And they have dealt with plenty at home many times without help and then add another 15-20 in the secure unit?! Don't think so. At this point they need to make friends with similar cognitive abilities instead of being with those with the disease. Mom's repetitiveness is enough to drive me wacky sometimes, then multiply it by 15?! Don't think so.

I would want my parents in ALF, and I would insist on a facility with nurses there 24/7. Help should be immediately available, but there is still privacy in an ALF setting.

Thanks for your responses. More welcome! Has anyone had their parents in one facility? Assisted living with a Alz wing would be perfect, I think. But Dad will have to come to that decision on his own I think. He is very stubborn and dependent.

Dad is almost deaf, legally blind, and is 95. Mom had Alzheimer's. Neither one can take care of the other and it would be lovely and romantic and right out of a movie if they could stay together but I don't see how that is possible. It sounds like they both need a NH. Can they go to the same NH? They're liable to have different rooms but your dad can still meander down to your mom's room and be with her during the day.

Similar situation, Judda. Mom is 87, step dad is 85. Mom is entering late stage Alzheimer's. He is frail, had a hip replacement three years ago. Prior to that he took care of Mom by himself. He cannot nor would not want to any longer. We brought in a geriatric care manager that has determined they would need, if placed in a facility, to be separate. Mom would do better alone, she depends on him too much. He would do better, especially with getting involved do better on his own in assisted. Mom definitely needs memory care for the 24/7 care. If they are in the same facility, Dad could visit any time he wants. It is very difficult for dads, especially their generation, they were brought up to take care of their families. But, what is best for HIM is best for BOTH and all concerned!

Talk to your Dad, it may be best to place them together in an ALF. But ultimately it is his decision to go or not.