My mother in law (MIL ) is currently living in an Assisted Living Facility (ALF ). At this time she does nothing but watch TV and eat. I'm concerned that I may be working too hard to keep her there. I'm too close to the situation. The ALF is only a couple of minutes from my house. The next stage facility will be at least 15 to 20 minutes away.
In order to keep her taken care of I have had to order NO FOOD or meals in her room - so she has to walk a minimum of 3 times a day to the meal area. I now pay to have someone wash her hair and style it twice a week. Her nails every other week. I've asked the staff at the ALF to stop "asking" if she needs to go to the bathroom but every hour take her and vary when they bathe her so she can't refuse to get cleaned which she was doing. She now just sits there poo, urine in her pants doesn't matter. Si again I'm changing the plan of care. The only thing that can motivate her is a Frappé from McDonald's (HELLO UTI! Which she gets regularly because a. She sits in it and b. Her family constantly brings them to her despite me asking/telling them NO. She'll randomly call people and ask them to bring her 2. If they say no. She's either stop trying to talk to you, hang up or cry. She actually called me the day before Mother's Day to say I don't want a gift just a Frappé. When we visited with one she got 1 but told the grandkids to leave (11 & 6) she wanted 2 Frappé not 1. Sunday, she choked on her dinner (she is already on a mechanical soft diet). The staff told me she has been over stuffing her mouth. Unless someone sits with and tells not to. Unless its dessert and then nothing will stop her some stuffing it all until the plate is empty.
Obviously there is more small things but I can't help wondering it time?