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pami68 Asked May 2014

My stepsister keeps calling my Mom for money. Any advice?

My stepsister no longer keeps calling my mom for money and somehow has found out her unlisted number. What do I do. Do I change my moms number or get a restraining order so she cant call. I think I have her email address. Do I maybe email her and tell her to stop calling my mom for money. Her father has been dead for 31/2 years. Three years ago my mom gave her money that was her dads and she spent it all. Now they want more. My mom doesn't have it anymore.

colinberry1 Jun 2014
I think the reality is money has a habit to go missing no matter what scenario you are in, I say this because when my mother-in-law was admitted into Chase farm Hospital Sister Bernard from Enfield convent, a friend of my mother-in-law was with her on admission she had a habit of carrying her cash with her, her £700 was taken from her and put in the safe, but on discharge the money and her marriage ring had gone missing, we was told by Sister Barnard, we had enough on our hands then to pursue the hospital for what had happened. Well the reality is whom can you trust.

ferris1 May 2014
When she calls hang up. Or better yet, get caller ID. Have your mother write a letter saying she has no more money (if she can, as you do not say if your mother has dementia). She is a nuisance, but don't let her calling upset you so much. Just hang up.

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pamstegma May 2014
Pami, in a similar situation, we certainly made Mom available to visitors, but we were very careful to make sure Mom did not have her checkbook or an ATM card at the ALF and limited cash, usually $40 in singles. We learned the hard way, because if mom had $600, she spent it all in a month, or if she had $40 it would last the same amount of time. We knew there was a financial hole someplace and there really is no way to spend $600 at a facility. Funny how those frequent visits become less frequent when the well runs dry.

pami68 May 2014
And her dada is dead has been for 3 years.

pami68 May 2014
she isnt mu mothersd daughter. My mother married her dad.

colinberry1 May 2014
Well I am a little lost here, is your step sister your mothers daughter? if so she sounds as if she could be the elders daughter, so that would be a totally different ball game.

I have too agree with debracford the answer to life is to learn to care for each other.

sherry1anne May 2014
I'm assuming with this answer that your mother is not close to this person. It sounds like an elder abuse situation. If she won't stop at your request, then turn her over to the authorities. She's your step-sister, right, not your mother's child, but your father's child by a previous marriage? She has absolutely no rights if this is the case. Give her a warning then take action.

debracford May 2014
dont shut her out.....invite her in for a sweet and loving chat or visit or whatever. I think blocking her phone calls or changing number is cruel . I agree with colinberry1. This is where we are caregivers have to be loving and compassionate but steadfast and firm and protective by simply telling the truth to stepdaughter .....in all of the finance and credit classes I have taken.....the financial reality is this....if you want more money or a raise $$$ in life....you have to spend less or make more. period. be sweet and kind.

tiny450 May 2014
call her and gently tell her to knock it off in polite terms of course..then block her number..she is taking advantage of your mother and apparently has no conscience
as to her actions..do not give out the new number if you do change it...good luck

colinberry1 May 2014
Well she may be your stepsister but she is also your mothers daughter, it is extremely difficult to have an opinion when you are getting information from one side, I will suggest that a better communication level is achieved between the both of you.

As for children asking parents for money it is quite a common problem, I guess that decision should be made by the parent involve, if her mother no longer has the capacity, well there is no longer a problem. It is just sad for her that she has a daughter with financial problems.

Labs4me May 2014
I had the same problem with my sister. I had to tell her point blank that my mother doesn't have the money to support her and her adult college attending daughter. My mother passed away recently and what a surprise my lazy stepsister and her daughter will be in for when they find out my mother redid her will excluding them.

assandache7 May 2014
Pam I have a cordless phone (Panasonic) and I can save then block any number I don't want calling back. When they try to call after I block their number it rings once and says blocked call.

pami68 May 2014
she is calling for a friendly chat. She wants money. I am going to change my moms teephone number as soon as possible. I know who gave her the number my cousin and she was told not to do it.

Countrymouse May 2014
First call the stepsister and tell her calmly that there is no more money, let alone money to which she has any claim.

Then, if she persists, suppressing the urge to visit her and give her such a slap, you can: block incoming calls to your mother's phone; change your mother's phone, and again if need be; or, if all else fails, consider taking advice on an injunction because this would by then amount to harassment.

I wonder, though. You are SURE the stepsister is not also calling your mother for a friendly chat, are you? It's not impossible.

vstefans May 2014
You can try to find out who would not have known better than to give the unlisted number out, and fill them in on stepsister, and change it as many times as necessary.

Eyerishlass May 2014
Take the above suggestions and also assign a POA for your mom. That person's name should also be on the account.

pamstegma May 2014
Change the unlisted number, or get a phone that will allow you to block calls.

littletonway May 2014
I would change any phone number the woman has access to and not respond to any letters or emails.

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