You all have been so helpful I hoped to get your input on this. I was my dad's caregiver for 5 years he refused to hire anyone b/c he would have to pay them (state funds he gets) and not use it for other things so of course after working all day and taking care of him at night I burned out. My life has moved forward I'm married and live 2 hours away. Problem is he still is using me b/c he hasn't been able to find anyone he likes to hire. I've put up ads at the university, website, and he still only has his morning gal. He won't hire an agency b/c he was "screwed" by the last one. Plus with the state program he's in control of who he hires and fires but he loses part of the $ if he doesn't have anyone to pay. He glosses things over with his case worker. He hates being told what to do. he's 59 spinal cord injury lives in a rental. All I hear is how he needs exercise and his body hurts and yet he shoots my ideas down for physical therapy b/c they don't do anything for him. His van is falling apart but he gets a loan for $5000 (don't know how) and uses it to loan to his sister for a business venture. The other part of the problem is he pays for my brothers house that was his mom's who passed away and left it to my brother 3 girls and one on the way, but my brother can't get a mortgage b/c of his credit. My dad can't put in his name b/c he's on Medicaid. I told my father when I got engaged 2 years ago that he'd have to stop paying me - we are still doing this song and dance b/c he hasn't hired anyone- everyone either quits or doesn't show up - my brother still won't make the mortgage payment b/c he's mad at dad over things. My problem is I see it from my dads view and yet I don't like being in this position. My step son will be going to college next year and I'm concerned about my income amount. He can use his mom's income but i still don't like this position. My dad doesn't like to play by the rules and we had a strained relationship prior to this b/c of how he handles things. I know i'm being used and i don't like it. He tells me how greatful he is. He thinks its ok to buy guns and other things he never could when he was younger and didn't have $ but now he can't use them but wants them but can't buy them b/c there is a domestic abuse charge on him back when he was married to my mom, so he wants to use my name to buy the guns for him. I don't want to see him loose his funding but I don't want to get in trouble either. Suggestions?