How to explain to people your grandmother's disgusting behaviors?

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Well, people aren’t very much understanding, are they? I was taking my grandmother out with my aunt and her husband when my grandmother started singing out loud in the car, with her awful voice, then my aunt tried to silence her, and her husband advised her to leave her do whatever she wants with a careless look on his face, because we “ the caregivers” have let that happen so it’s our fault, and not only the singing out loud part that drove him crazy but the whole disgusting things that my grandmother does, like licking her fingers after eating… it’s not like we taught them to do that, they just lost it!

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Hello Jeannegibbs,
I didn’t put any information about my care giving of my grandmother because as probably you have read my profile, we are group of young people trying to learn, and also to share with you stories from my life, and yes she does have cognitive issues, a slowly progressing dementia, and other health problem, I don’t know if there’s an specific age to be a caregiver, but I’m quiet young and I helped my mom (and still helping) last year since she was going to retire soon from her job (she’s retired right now) and wanted to devote her life to take care of her mother, and sometimes when I need help specially if I want to take her out I ask help from others. If though they are not related to her.
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LOLOLOLOLOLOL I can't breatheeeeee
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Brightbod, older people can do things that some consider disgusting behavior, but they usually aren't anything serious. I thought it was delightful your GM was singing. I love Molliekate's suggestion. I wish I could apply it to my mother's somewhat embarrassing behavior. A lot of times she passes gas with each step she takes. And not the silent type, either. Everyone around acts like they don't hear, but there is this eerie silence punctuated by barking frogs. I don't think it would be so good to join in with her, so we just ignore. :)
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BrightBod, I don't see on your profile any information on the caregiving situation. Am I correct in assuming that Grandmother has cognitive issues, such as dementia?

If this aunt and uncle are not related to this grandmother, why are they joining you on an outing? I'd say it would be best for all concerned not to bring these people together.
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Do you cover a babies mouth when they cry? ? Life is a circle. Sing with her or him it more than likely will make them happy and they will stop because they are happy. Remember it is a circle do you remember your first favorite song? ,, well they do too. And sents like favorite flowers or perfumes.
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No my aunt is not her daughter, and the caregivers are my mom, and I help her once in while taking care of my grandmother, so me and mom, well at first I tried to tell my grandmother that is not polite to do some stuff, and try to make her focus on other things that she likes, so she won’t get bored, but even that she will still surprise you xD
I guess you're right about "easier for them to blame it on the caregivers" because sometimes at first she will listen, but after a while she will return to her odd habits.
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Many people are very understanding, if given a little information. Others are clueless and prefer it that way.

Is your aunt this grandmother's daughter? If she is and she has no interest in learning about GM's disease and behaviors, perhaps it would be best not to have them out in public together. Maybe everyone would be more comfortable visiting at one of their homes, for a limited time each visit.

Who is the caregiver for Grandmother?

When I traveled with my husband I carried business-card sized messages that said, "Thank you for your patience. My husband has dementia." I only used one, in a situation where the person might otherwise have felt offended. I found strangers to be very understanding of odd behaviors. In your case it is too bad relatives can't also be understanding.

Maybe it is somehow easier for Aunt and Uncle to be able to blame caregivers for the odd behaviors than to acknowledge that Grandmother has a disease that is causing it. They are wrong, of course, but that may be why they are less understanding than strangers often are.
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