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Cpawelzick Asked May 2014

My Dad and I live overseas but I need to send him back to the US to stay in a nursing home. Any advice?

My dad and I have been living overseas for 25 years. Recently, his insurance in US stopped covering for this treatment overseas, so he has to live in US in order to get his insurance. To make things worse, he just been diagnozed with alzheimer's so he does need intensive care.

I was born in america but my parents brought me here since i was 4, so i have very little knowledge about how things are there. Now, with my dad's condition, i am considering to get him back to US and maybe put him in a nursing home. The problem is that i won't be able to stay there with him. I have no one in US. Will it be ok to leave my dad there on his own? Any advice on a good nursing home where i can leave my dad without worrying? Especially around manteca, CA since my dad has few friends there.

Eyerishlass May 2014
You're not the only adult child who can't live in the same state (or country) as their elderly parent.

Are you able to take your dad back to the US and find a NH for him? You should tour several facilities and then pick the one you think is best. In addition, you can find an agency that offers 'sitters' to be your eyes and ears. They sit with your dad each day, advocating for him and making sure all is well. Can you hire a couple of people for several hours a day? They will be your contact people in the NH and who you'll communicate with regarding how things are going for your dad.

Get these things set up and whatever else you need to have peace of mind and to ensure your dad will be OK.

Chicago1954 May 2014
It isn't even a good idea to transport elderly parents between states and different climates. To place someone in a NH, without someone to over see his care, would be unusual. Good luck. I think I would appeal to his insurance for some sort of lee way.

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Melicity May 2014
I don't think it is a good idea to send dad back with out you staying nearby. Your dad will need an advocate. I agree with 12wondering. Find out what might be done to care for your dad in the country that you are living in. Can you take guardianship of him and claim him as a dependent? The US consulate is a good idea and can help you re: direction.

12wondering May 2014
Do you really want to just ship your Father back to a place that you don't know & where you will not be able to see him? Not to mention that there would be no way of checking on the kind of care he would be receiving. Unless you just wish to warehouse him and be done.

12wondering May 2014
Is there any way that the ins. can be changed. If you have lived in another country (Dad too) for 25 yrs. check into what that country may have. Also pamstegman's advice to check with consulate.

pamstegma May 2014
If your father is a US citizen, go to the nearest US consulate for help.

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