Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
W
windoverwater Asked April 2014

Is this normal not to remember or blocked out my Mom's death?

I was with my mother when she died many years ago. I recently was learning more about death and dying and realized that the memory of her death was blocked out or gone. She was not expected to die, I had just popped by her residential care home for a quick visit on a sunny tuesday afternoon, sitting with her chatting to her, she was unresponsive, then I don't remember much after that,

Eyerishlass Apr 2014
My brother and I were with my mom the night she died. We knew she was actively dying. He has no memories of that night. I remember everything.

It's the body's way of protecting itself from pain.

bookluvr Apr 2014
Yes, I have absolutely no memories (99%) of my childhood. Neither does my 2 younger sisters. We never realized it until fave sister's daughter had a homework. She was to get some childhood memories from her parents. That's when sis realized She Had No Memories of her childhood. When she asked me, I told her that I have no memories - only the ones of us kids playing together, and father beating up our brothers, my fears of both parents, hiding under the table, and seeing mom chasing father with the big butcher knife.

I have so many of my former classmates from elementary, middle school and high school approach me. "Remember me?" No, I don't remember them at all. I had 2 people bully me in middle school. I have absolutely NO memories of it. But my younger sister hates them - even up to now. She was the one who had to keep coming to my defense when bullied.

About 6 years ago, my gynecologist mentioned "cancer" to me. I went into shock, blacked out on the exam table. When I "came to", I was sitting up, the nurse was gone, and the doctor was holding my hands patting it, talking but no sounds. I conveniently "forgot" that I was going to Hawaii for surgery and to do the biopsy to see if I had ovarian cancer. I only remembered when my SIL asked me if I knew what kind of hospital I was being operated in. A women/children cancer hospital. I completely forgot.

Like caregiver14, when life is just too much for you to handle, your subconscious takes over. It hides the hurt/pain that your conscious mind cannot deal with. What scares me so much is that this Not remembering can be very dangerous for me. What if I didn't learn from the first time? And I repeat it -not knowing - that I parked there before, and got raped. Not remembering, I might still go and park there. That is my greatest fear about this 'not remembering' painful events in your life.

Scary, isn't it? To have absolutely not remember the event. I'm so sorry. {{HUGS}}

ADVERTISEMENT


ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter