I often, "Daily" get very sad and cry when I think about my father passing away! I havent been very good as a son to him in the past and now I feel so down and need redemption from him, but cant talk with him. I am living with him and my mother whom has dementia; (per his strong request) neither he nor I have any idea how to deal with dementia except giving her meds. I am very fearful of finding him dead in his bed some morning in the future, and my emotions get so powerful that I feel as though I may lose control and go histerical. I really want only to help him live in peace these last few years, but to watch him stand by his sweetheart; loyally and faithfully even though she isnt "her" anymore! I'ts just heart wrenching for me and Im so helpless for him in that regard. I've never witnessed such loyalty and will in a person as I see in my father right now, yet I see him die a little more, and he gets a little more sad each day! It feels like my insides are being torn apart.