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lynn68 Asked March 2014

Should a parent pressure an adult child to visit an elderly grandparent?

My 92 yr. old mother is in a memory care unit a thousand miles away from my daughter. They have never been close, but out of respect, I think my daughter should make an effort to visit her grandmother soon, while she is still capable of recognizing others. Neither of them has made an effort to keep in touch over the years.

lynn68 Mar 2014
Thank you both for your prompt answers. You've made valid points. I'm just thinking ahead to the day when Mom passes away. If I get to choose (and I don't), I'd prefer my daughter visit now and skip the funeral.

Eyerishlass Mar 2014
1,000 miles away is a long way to travel. I would imagine that your daughter would have to take off work and find somewhere to stay while visiting. In this case, I would say no, don't pressure her to visit. It's not like they have been close through the years and it's not like grandma is in the same town and your daughter can just pop in for a visit. If your daughter feels the need to visit her grandma she can but I wouldn't put any pressure on her.

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jeannegibbs Mar 2014
You might suggest it, but pressure? No. An adult is capable of making a decision about whom she wishes to visit, and when.

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