I want to get something like a diaper pail and one that I can deodorize. However, I don't want to get a baby's diaper pail as I think my mother might find it insulting. Do they have "adult" pails that look like they would be more likely to be used by adults? If so, where I can I buy one?
The issue is that I'm trying to respect my mother's dignity and treat her as an adult. I call her incontinence pads "pads" and I want to steer clear of anything that might insult her dignity. She is emotionally struggling with all of this and I try to be careful what I do and say about it all to be really sensitive about it.
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However, with that said, the only people I forgive for using any of these words or phrases are waiters and waitresses in diners, who seem to pretty generally use those terms for everyone.
I guess the trick is that I know I would want to be treated like a regular person, which is what we all are, regardless how old we get.
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And good for you for thinking about your mom's dignity. I never used the word "diaper" to my dad, it was always a "brief". I work in home healthcare now and I never say the word "diaper". Like you, I think it's important that we don't infantilize our elders.
P.S. I also hate the sing-song-y voice some women (usually women) use with elders. Nurses at the Dr.'s office or in the nursing home. I'm insulted by it.