I let my husband know that he smells, and he denies it. Any advice?

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My husband thinks nothing is wrong and I am trying to tell him that he needs to take care of an awful odor. He says nothing is wrong, later he knows different. I tell him that that was what I was talking about earlier. When do you take this seriously? And when and what comes of this. I have to find ways to make the house smell better, etc. We are going to have company in a couple of weeks and they are his son. I love his Dad, but this is new to me. It is personal and want him to keep is pride. Help.

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I had the same problem with my dad. I had an earnest, heart to heart with him in order to address the problem and to allow my dad his dignity. It was a difficult conversation to have. I asked my dad if he was having trouble keeping up with his hygiene and if so, can we get a professional in to help him for a while. I tried to be as delicate and considerate as I could.

I also made sure my dad's towels stayed fresh and clean. He slept in a chair so I had no bed linens to change but keeping the bed linens clean will help with the odor as well. It's at least something. I also did my dad's laundry every other day so it didn't sit in the hamper too long.

It IS personal and uncomfortable to have this talk with a loved one. All I can suggest is to be kind and since you're already concerned about your husband's pride I know you will be kind. Have an honest talk with him. When I spoke to my dad about this I told him that keeping up with his personal hygiene is part of taking care of himself and that, at times, I could tell that he hadn't showered lately. I encouraged him to shower and told him how much better he'd feel after a nice, hot, sudsy shower. And because showering was tiring for my dad I told him that he didn't have to shower every day if he didn't want to, every few days would be fine (and it is, in my opinion). I just came at it from all of these angles and my dad eventually got the message. You didn't say if your husband is ill or disabled but nursing agencies have bath attendants. They're very good, very quick. They come out and boom bang boom your husband's clean. They use lotions and soaps and make it a nice experience.

If we're caring for someone we need to have these conversations no matter how awkward. I know it's difficult. Good luck :-)
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