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sandwich42plus Asked September 2013

Would like medical professional response - Can you tell when an elder is faking "normal" at office visits?

E.g. when an elder lies about taking their meds as prescribed, checking blood sugar, bathing, being active? I realize no medical person can read minds, but sometimes as caregivers, when the doc won't see what we see, it's enough to make you give up all hope.

jeannegibbs Sep 2013
I don't know how many medical professionals are on this site. (I'm not.) Both my husband's geriatrician and neurologist were very aware of the "show timing" activity, whereby persons with dementia can put on a "normal" act for a limited period of time. Both spoke directly to my husband but also looked to me for confirmation. They might say "Is that how it seems to you?" or "Have you noticed him being unsteady on his feet?" I think that my husband might have been able to fool his original internist, but she seemed to know very little about dementia.

If it is difficult to contradict your loved one in a doctor's office, it may be a good idea to send in a note ahead of time, expressing your concerns.

virtualhorizon Sep 2013
I'm not a medical professional...sorry! But hearing from those taking care of others can be helpful also.

Certain times in the past when we've taken my Dad to doctors appointments he has seemed much better than "normal". In these instances I think that just getting out of the house and knowing he's going to a doctor's appointment makes him a little more "with it"! Normally we don't give him his meds beforehand, which might have a little to do with it also -- if he took his meds he'd be sleepy, etc. He will agree with the doctor, says he doing "okay", etc. Believe me, both of his doctors (GP and neuro) know that he's not "okay". That's why my Mom and I are in the appointments with him -- so that we can let them know exactly what is going on with him (he's in mid to later stages of Alzheimer's).

Many elder individuals don't want their doctors (or other folks) to know how bad they're really doing and won't admit to not taking care of themselves. Many just won't take care of themselves unless someone is there to help them, because they forget to take meds, etc.

One suggestion I would have would be to keep a daily journal of what the person is and is not doing, what problems they have, how they act out, etc. and take it to the next appointment. This will give the doctor a heads up. Also, most doctors will be able to tell what's going on with their patients through labwork, physical exams, etc. If you're concerned that the doctor is not aware -- don't be afraid to ask! They sometimes know more than we do and more than they let on!

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