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My fiancé has been watching after her dad for 12 yrs. ever since her mother passed away. We have been together for almost 8 yrs. She has always made me bite my tongue when he decides to verbally bash her, even though out of six kids she is the only one that will put up with him. he has a major gambling problem (I was glad we moved to a no gambling state) he has been showing decline in memory for yrs. but he will never agree to see anyone. He now never bathes and if I bring it up he gets offended and ignores us. He stinks to high heaven and definitely has Alzheimer's ( I took care of my grandmother who had it and I know the signs) my biggest fear is he will take off or get sick and when he is being looked at they are gonna blame my fiancé for his shabby smell and appearance. She gave 12 yrs too her mother when she had cancer and then got saddled with a father who blames all his unhappiness on her. I am trying to be supportive of this whole situation but enough is enough.... he is ungrateful and stinks.....How in the world do you get someone who will not even get a flu shot to a psych eval? Any helpful feedback will be greatly appreciated.

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I doubt that he will "explode" and if he does, they may get a court order for evaluation if he is violent. In extreme cases the police are called. Funny, though how they sense authority and suddenly become sweet as pie. Talk to your fiance, and make it clear he has to bathe. He is controlling the household, becoming the alpha dog.
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He gets angry. So? Aren't you angry about his stink? How come he gets what he wants when he is angry and you don't? Are you and your mother and your fiancé
less valuable and worthy people than he is?

What about an ultimatum? "Dad, we are very glad that we are able to provide a nice place for you to live. But to stay here you will need to bathe or shower at least once a week. If you can't agree to that we'll respect your choice and start looking for somewhere else for you to live."

I feel sorry for your FIL. He's obviously somewhat cognitively impaired, and he did not deliberately bring that condition on himself. But I also feel sorry for the rest of you. Just because it isn't his fault doesn't mean you have to put up with it.
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We all live together my mom owned the property but because of health problems she moved back to Florida. We always loved her property up on the mountain so we talked her into going back and we took over the property. She stays with us and is really being a good sport with the tight quarters, but her main concerns about my fiancés dad are the same as ours. As far as the marriage go's it had been put off because of financial struggles but we are getting ready to set a date. We have tried talking to him about the hygiene issue and if anyone even hints at the possibility that he may have a problem he gets upset and more depressed or angry. ( I know it is all the same) I saw the number you gave.... will they come out? and if they do what happens if he explodes? It is just so hard to know what to do and my fiancé has gotten this great job and we are finally getting ahead it is just stressful for us all. Thank you so much for your impute
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From your profile, it sounds like the three of you are living together. Is that correct? Is it your home, or one purchased jointly with your fiancé? Does the father situation have anything to do with why you aren't married? (I'm just trying to get a clearer picture here.)

It would be good if you had a clear diagnosis (insofar as that is possible) to deal with. I hope you can get some outside help to arrange that.

But Dad's behavior is likely to continue, with or without a diagnosis. Have you tried setting some ground rules? "If you are going to live in this house, a weekly bath or shower is required. If that is not acceptable, we will help you find another place to live."

Your fiancé is the only one of his children who will put up with him. Maybe she is extremely compassionate, and maybe she is a martyr, and maybe it is some of each. But the question in my mind is why are you putting up with this? If enough is enough for you, what are you willing to do about it?
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Ask DeKalb County to check on him and do an evaluation.
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