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momtymes3 Asked June 2013

When if ever is it time for a nursing home?

My dad and mom live in an assisted living facility. They get their meals, help with cleaning, changing sheets etc. The problem is that my dad has started to fall. He hurt his arm because his skin is so paper thin it just scraped it open. It was just getting better and he fell again. Hurt his shoulder and reopened the sore on his arm. I insisted on taking him to urgent care to make sure that nothing was broken and to see about his sore. They had to cauterize it to stop the bleeding. He went home and that same night he fell again and opened up the side of his other arm. I don't know what to do. I keep going over there and wrapping his arms up but he keeps opening them up again. He only falls at night when he is getting up to go to the bathroom. We got him a container to pee in and he still falls when he uses it. Last night I bought him diapers. He had a fit but I told him that he can't keep falling like this. He didn't fall and he didn't have to go to the bathroom either. I hope this works. My mom is terrified that he might have to go to a home. She is in a wheelchair and he does a lot for her. Neither of them want to go to a home but I feel responsible for their safety. What would you do in my place?

ChristinaW Jun 2013
There are care homes that will take couples. If and when hospice is necessary, they can stay together. It sounds like your Dad is too weak to continue to take care of your Mom--in a wheelchair! Too much:( He needs to be taken care of and they need to be together for as long as possible.
Go online to "a place for Mom." It's a free service and they will give you a list of applicable places near you.
Bless your parent's sweet hearts :) You, too! xo

Perseverance Jun 2013
It sounds like your dad is ready to be moved to a NH.

My mom lived in an assisted living place for two years - high end place. As her health declined (as expected) they were ill-equiped to handle her growing needs. A better word for assisted living is cash cow. My Mom is in a much better facility - not glitzy like the assisted living place, but loving and kind care. I sleep better at night knowing she is there.

Check out local nursing homes. Call your local ombudsman and get a referral. Do a google check -- (yelp dot com and other) to read first hand feedback.

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