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Hi Everyone, I want to thank you all for the helpful responses I see being posted here to the caregiving situations many of us face. I have a problem that has come up and would like some advice. I'm having total knee replacement in July and have made arrangements for my Dad (who lives with me and I'm caregiver) to be in a nursing home while I rehab. His stay will only be 10 days or so. When I told him this he was very upset/annoyed..wants to stay here with VNA homemakers and nurses coming in each day. Doesn't understand why I'm doing this and doesn't like the cost of it even though he can afford it. I might mention that my husband will be here and only wants to focus on me right now and not worry about my Dad. I feel guilty that I'm doing this even though I know I've do everything I can to give him the best care. He is newly diabetic and requires insulin shots, he's on warfarin for afib and has his INR tested and is 90% blind. His reaction was all about him and how he doesn't want to go and not my surgery. I've always been the "good, sweet" daughter who doesn't speak back or challenge..but this time I got firm and said he would have to deal with it; that this is how it has to be. I don't want to feel guilty..Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

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You're doing the right thing, capeseashells. Even if he had people coming in to see about him, you would probably still feel the need to do some things for him when help was not there. This time should be about you and getting well. Besides being inconvenienced, he may be afraid that if he gets a foot inside the nursing facility that he may not ever come back out. I guess he just needs a little security in knowing that his room will be waiting for him when you're back on your feet well.
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Thanks so much for your understanding and support..feeling less guilty with my decision and you're right w9729..need to take care of ourselves first so we can caretake for others! My Dad is a gem and I'm truly honored to be able to care for him..
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A month off would be grand for you.. Seriously. Keep there for a month, and perhaps you'll find that is a better alternative based upon everyone's needs.
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Please don't feel guilty about your decision. I believe you made a fair and, personally, the right decision. You must take care of yourself if you are going to be able to take care of anyone else - so I'm glad you are doing so. Caregiving is extremely hard on our bodies - both physically and especially mentally. So having your dad go to a nursing home is a wise decision that way you and your husband can concentrate on YOU getting better instead of worrying about him. Your dad will be okay. Elders sometimes get selfish and don't understand that it can't always be about them. You're doing a great job so try not to let this bother you. Good luck!!
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