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talfonso Asked March 2013

Should I take up the recorder to ease stress?

Well, I'm quite the more disturbed type of caregiver, even moreso because I have been diagnosed with high-functioning autism since 2.

And sometimes, my elder demands so much from me that I can't help but SCREAM. I usually scream on a pillow, but if that's not enough, I'd go outside and let it all out. My relative doesn't like it (she considers it "giving her an attitude," and I acknowledge and appreciate that), so I do either or both when she's away.

But I said to myself that there are other ways to redirect my frustrations. Regualr physical exercise, Oxycise!, EFT, and meditations (just to name but four) have worked for me.

Recently, I came across people's horror stories of playing the recorder in elementary school. They were calling it names like "the devil's whistle" and "Satan's flute." They mostly think of the repertoire consisting only of children's songs and "Hot Cross Buns."

Through my fandom of Baroque music (which is a type of classical music with a lot of piece written for what most people see as a lowly instrument) and good childhood memories playing it, I'm considering taking up the recorder. It really clicked in my head as I swung between giving my elder meds and reading on people's opinions on it.

Is it another thing that can alleviate caregiver stress/anger? Is it worth my money (even when quality descant recorders cost under $10)?

Moozklmel Mar 2013
I'm a professional musician and I've worked with countless individuals at the college level who have been diagnosed as being somewhere in the Autism/Asberger's spectrum. Some are students and some are faculty. There are commonalities among all of them. They want or rather NEED something to focus in on and get passionate about. Maybe it's the recorder for you. I agree with the others to get a good one and also think about the size of your hands when choosing. Tiny people have a hard time playing the bigger instruments because the air holes are so far apart.
This activity would be healthy for you and indirectly your family if your intellectual needs get met.

jeannegibbs Mar 2013
I had no musical training as a child. I tried to learn to play the guitar in middle age and, wow, did that add a whole new layer of stress to my life! I love to listen to classical guitar music, and that brief experience of lessons made me a better listener.

Since you have fond memories of your childhood recorder experiences, I say go for it!

I, too, am curious how much responsibility you have for Grandmother's care. I hope you have lots of support!

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Chicago1954 Mar 2013
Look on Craig's list and buy the best one that you can afford. The $10.00 one will drive you nuts. The finger holes sometimes aren't drilled right and you can be 1/2 a note off. (Maybe you should buy a set of drums. :) )

talfonso Mar 2013
A tenor recorder? Sounds like a good investment! It may not be as cheap as the soprano, but worth saving up for! Thanks for the answers!

SusanJMT Mar 2013
Just get a recorder in a lower register. One of the bigger ones with a sweeter tone. Music is a wonderful outlet and stress reliever, and an alto or tenor recorder is what you want. Great for developing breath control. Do you sing? It would be a good excuse to get out among people. Check Meetup or your local church choir for singing opportunities. I would die without music and singing.

Labs4me Mar 2013
Chamber music is definately good for stress relief and being able to play an instrument can further relieve the stresses of caregiving. A bigger question I have is how have you beome a caregiver to your grandmother? Where are your parents? My grandson has been diagnosed with high functioning autism, but I cannot fathom him ever taking on the role of caregiver of an elderly person. I can tell you are extremely intelligent, but with such innocence in regards to your "elders" emotions. I truely hope you are not taking on the care of your grandmother alone. You could use the help and support with the challanges of caregiving.

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