Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
S
sconder Asked January 2013

Can my husband protect his Mom even if his brother has POA?

My mother-in-law is living with my husband's brother who was given the POA rights to her after her husband died. We just found out two years ago and he died in 1992. To make a long story short, she came to stay with us in April 2011 while they went on vacation. She did not want to go back with them because she said they were mean to her. Well after a little over a month, she got mad at my husband (her son) because he was trying to help her reduce her sugar intake because she is a severe diabetic. Anyway, during that time we found out that our sister-in-law has been spending her money right and left. Her son by another man, stole checks from Mom and they ended up freezing her account. From January 2011 to April 2011, she had over $34,000 deposited to her account. By the time we got her, she had $24.86 and her account was frozen. To make a long story short, when I took her to the bank the manager gave us a four month account history. My sister-in-law had personal bills such as credit cards, cell phone bills, etc. coming out of Mom's account. When I mentioned this, I was told to don't bring it up or my husband's brother was going to commit suicide. Then she threatened to attack me the last time we were over at their house to visit Mom because I exposed her. She is now bedfast and I know she isn't getting the care she needs. However, everything that has happened has been pinned on me. I sometimes wish I hadnt seen anything or said anything because nothing really changed except we can't see her now and she has been brain washed by these idiots that I am a bad person when I was just trying to help. She is getting worse by the day is what I heard. I don't believe they have her best interest at heart. Is there anything my husband can do to protect his Mom even though his brother is the POA?

JessieBelle Jan 2013
The link didn't work. That happens sometimes in the group. You can look at the bottom of the page in the Discussion section to find the message. If it has already disappeared, just click "More Discussions" until you find the message on Elderly Financial Abuse Exploitation Prevention.

JessieBelle Jan 2013
The site admin posted an article today that I think you will find helpful. It is at https://www.agingcare.com/articles/elderly-financial-abuse-exploitation-prevention-137716.htm If your husband's mother is being exploited, you can help her without endangering yourself. Please let us know how everything goes. I am glad your MIL has you looking after her best interests.

ADVERTISEMENT


FRAULEIN Jan 2013
We've been in a theft situation before with our Mom where my former sister-in law was robbing her blind with video tape from the bank. My Mom (who was of full mind back then) would not prosecute her. We are still dealing with that some 15 years later. i'm not sure if there is anything you can do legally but you will have a good conscience in taking care of her and giving her the best love and care that you can. Her hands are tied now and nothing she can do at this point. Just love her and take care of her in the best way and with whatever means possible.

vstefans Jan 2013
JessieBelle is 100% right - contact adult protective services, give them copies of the evidence of financial abuse; POAs can be revoked under these circumstances and likely this will require a guardianship if Mom cannot understand what has happened. You may need an elder law attorney as well.

JessieBelle Jan 2013
This sounds like a horrible situation. Unfortunately, a dishonest POA can drain the account of the person they are supposed to be helping. It is illegal for them to do this and they can be prosecuted for it, but first someone has to call the police.

I wonder if Adult Protective Services would be able to help here. I would love to read what other people have to say about this.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter