I just learned that my Dad in New Mexico has pneumonia. His cleaning lady called me a few hours ago; she is my somewhat secret informant. She told me she PROMISED him that she would NOT tell me. He was feeling bad about a week ago, then when she went on Monday to see him, he was feeling worse. He hadn't even touched any booze in a few days!!
He wound up driving himself to the ER; he wouldn't let her drive him. He was released home with a bunch of antibiotics and diagnosed with pneumonia. Of course, not sure if it's Covid or regular pneumonia yet. He lives alone with his three cats. Janie, the Cleaning Lady, and I speak about every month or so.
I live in Denver and just bought my Dad a new phone, so I told her I'll just call him to talk about the phone, and promised her that I wouldn't "tell" that she told me. My Dad was already on oxygen 24/7; he's only 79, but on the frail side. I just lost my Mom less than two years ago to Alzheimer's, and I can't help but think this can't be true that I could lose my Dad too.
He has already pre-planned and paid for his last wishes, he has a Will, and I know that he has his affairs in order as he has gone out of his way to let me know.
When I call him tomorrow (well, really...later today), and if he sounds bad, I'm not going to be able to act like I don't know he has pneumonia. His cleaning lady begged me and said he will fire her if he finds out I know. She is going to his place every two or three days now, as many of her regulars are not having her over during the pandemic.
Should I just say, Dad you sound terrible...are you sick? I'm flying out to see what's going on. If he sounds fine and the cleaning lady backs this up when she goes back on Friday, I'll stay put. BUT, if he sounds bad when I call him, I don't think I'll be able to just stay put and do nothing. I'm in good health, 52, and I have promised him to find homes for all three cats if anything should happen to him (he has brought that up every time I have visited for the last few years).
I don't have any siblings; am I overreacting to plan to probably go to be with him? I'd rather be able to keep him at home than risk having him in the hospital if it can be helped. The cleaning lady can't be with him 24/7. Thank you for any advice or encouragement; I'm just trying to think this through. It's too far to drive; I would need to get a flight to El Paso, and then rent a car to drive the rest of the way. My son could look after my cat every few days at my place.