After taking care of my in laws for almost 2 years, the siblings are accusing us of stealing and abusing her.


All this because there is money involv. We had to move to the south to take care of my in-laws, none of my husband's brothers even wanted to talk about it just agreed. After 2 years living with us and noticing that we couldn't find jobs here she told us that she will help us so she gave us 110k to buy a property and open a business similar to the one we had up north, she said she didn't want us to return the money to her but we insisted it was a loan, unfortunately we didn't sign a paper or any document . She doesn't pay for any expenses but the cable ($250) and sometimes helped us with groceries. She bought a new car to one of our daughters for taking care of her and her late husband while my husband was traveling back and forth moving us. One of the brothers has been asking my husband for the money because he needs it to buy an investing property. Now that my brothers in law learned that it will take some more time for us to returned that money to her they accused us of abusing her and stilling from her and that we have to return the money she gave us and the money for the car. After they insulted my husband they took her out for dinner, 2 days have passed and she is not back which is weird since they never take her out for more than 2 hours a month. My husband call her cell phone (that we pay) but hasn't answer, so he call his brother and he said that she will stay with him for some days, my husband asked to talk to her and she was very dry didn't talk much and said she will stay with her son for a week, my husband reminded her of her medications and she said she will pick it up the next day.This morning seems that she came to pick up her medication for allergies and high blood, because it is not here anymore. She is acting weird with us, doesn't call to communicate with us, which is not her at least she wasn't like that before this weekend. A couple of hours ago my husband received an email notifying us that his online access to her bank account has been reset. We don't know what to do, should we just wait and see, should we contact a lawyer, Are they the ones abusing her? Any suggestions?

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The sad part is that she was giving money to the other children too but in their eyes that is ok. My husband has been taking her to see the lawyer that is working on her estate but the process is long and they are desperate. Thank you for your suggestion, you are right it will be good to find a third party to talk to her and find out what she wants. This is heartbreaking.
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Dear newsouthern,

Sorry to hear what you have been going through. This is a tough situation. It sounds like your brother in law is jealous of the amount of money you have been given. Even though it was meant as a loan and to also compensate you and your family for caring for your mother in law.

Family dynamics are always so tough. I don't think it would hurt to talk to a social worker or even the police if you believe he is some way hurting her.

Someone outside of the family needs to talk to your mother in law independently to see what she wants. And to get things down on paper. She needs a will, a POA , a health directive, to help clear up expectations in the family.
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