Dad and Mom are both 85. After a long period of divorce they remarried and had a brief period of happiness. My father was responsible for the bills and although he was showing signs of dementia, my mother didn’t make herself aware of their finances until it was too late and they filed for bankruptcy. This was 5 years ago and the marriage deteriorated steadily after that. My dad’s dementia continued to manifest itself and my mother couldn’t cope with him, was frequently mean and complained to anyone who would listen. My dad’s memory is severely diminished with each new day so he Often doesn’t remember the terrible treatment he faces every day by my mother.
Recently my dad , after an argument, left their home to walk to my home (about 3 miles) in the dark, in the pouring rain, fell in street and was helped to my house by a Good Samaritan. He fractured his clavicle. I decided he would stay with me. Two days later my mom fell in her bathroom and is currently hospitalized with a Cervical fracture C2.
Dad then developed pneumonia and is now hospitalized.
Prior to Dad’s current hospitalization and during the period leading to pneumonia diagnosis, dad began slurring his words, was unsteady and was very out of it, much more than usual and had accidents at night.
When we start to try and decide what to do going forward, we know dad will go along with whatever my sister, brother and I say. My mother will be in rehab after discharge from hospital for several weeks. She is adamant that she will not move out of her apartment which is not affordable, two floors, she has vision limitations, etc.
I realize this may sound very convoluted and I’ve tried to be concise because I’m hoping it will resonate with someone who may have dealt with this situation or a version of same.
Any feedback or thoughts are appreciated.