My name is Bill, I was invited here to meet others and share. I am a 45yo caregiver for my 81yo Mother that has Alzheimer's and my 85 yo Aunt that has Arthritis and other health issues. The three of us are in the same home and we live in the Mountains of California near Lake Tahoe.
I have a hard time with my "Acquired" job. My sleeping is normally done in a chair between chasing the estrogen queens needs. It is never ending around here, 24/7 I never know what is next.
I have Mom on waiting list at different facilities but there is no date in sight right now. I have a sister but she doesn't get involved too much. More like 10 minute visits and a lot of no-call no-shows.
I feel I am struggling every moment of my life just to keep anything in what we refer to as order. My daily story's can make a great comic book but I will spare you details right now as I just want to meet others that deal with life with Alzheimer's.
I question everything I do, did I say the right thing, did I do the right thing, how can I do it better, why did i say or do that. It goes on and on.
I need to get things ready for the day, Just wanted to stop by and "break the Ice".
Thanks for the invite Carol.
Hugs, Bill

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Welcome Bill, Im pretty new to this site also. I was the caregiver for my grandmother for years, but now my mom has taken on that role. Grandma is 94 with end-stage me when I say, do what you can to find a moment for yourself. I moved 600 miles to be closer to my mom so she could take a break sometimes. But if you dont have family that can help, the internet does have tons of information of where you can find help. Maybe a local church group, or an eldercare case manager in your local hospital can help with volunteers or at least give you some direction of organizations in your area. I have found that it is so important to make sure you take care of yourself. Even if you just get an hour a day to do something you enjoy makes a big difference. Search through this site also..I have received some amazing advise and more important, a place to vent when you need to, to people that actually understand what your going threw. I find that helps also. I wish you all the best in your caregiver role. Its not an easy job, but your an angel for it.


I own a home care agency in Scottsdale, AZ, and have been in the industry since 1979. You really are in a tough spot and should reach out for some help. I did a brief google search on California Home Care and found the states office for state paid home care which includes personal care, ie. bathing, meal prep and light housekeeping. Here in Arizona our state run home care program is very large and run by ACHSS which would be Medicaid in your State. If either or both of your ladies qualify it will take a load off your shoulders. You can actually print off the application from their site and get a feel for whether they qualify. If they don't and they have financial resources it is time for you to go to an agency like mine and get some help. If they don't have the finances to pay for help call the Hospice Organization in your area. Many people think of Hospice as only being in the business of dealing with "end of life" issues. Things have changed, their care is free and they can be a wonderful resource and support system. Bill, I have seen a lot over the years but you really need to take care of yourself. I have seen situations where the care giver becomes abusive, distraught, depressed and ill. Don't just suffer alone there, call for help!
If I can provide any additional information please don't hesitate to contact me.

Best Wishes,

welcome bhirdman, I take it you like birds, do you just watch, or do you raise?
You have come to the right place, we are all dealing with practically the same issues just in different development stages. some of us are older some have kids and I am so glad that mine is grown. Don't know if I could do a teenager and mother at the same time. We all doubt ourselves, have unanswered questions, my feeling is if we do the best we can without cracking which sometimes I do, in a loving manner it will be okay, after a while it will be all over with. Welcome and visit frequently

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