I have to explain things very slowly, repetitively. It is very frustrating. He becomes very confused very easily. When I try to explain the situation in more details. Meanwhile, he is vehemently arguing. I have to say it over and over again. I have to explain things to him the same way I explain things to a child. This happens with our children, grandchildren, repairmen, friends and members of our church. If I suggest and ask if he has his medicine bag with necessary medications, needles and insulin, he gets angry. But, he must take it with him whenever we leaves the house. The medical staff has told him numerous times. If I ask him to check to make certain he has what he needs, he gets angry. I carry items with me, including tablets that increase his blood sugar all the time. I carry orange juice and some food item every time we leave the house. I, now, carry insulin needles because he forget to pack them. My shoulder bag is heavy with carrying what he might need. I have necessary items in our bedroom to give him if his blood sugar drops so i do not have to run to the kitchen. I will quickly call 911 when necessary, even if he gets angry. I am overwhelmed. I am exhausted. Two of our children do not want to be bothered. They live their lives. I am trying not to lean on my other children too much because I do not want to burn them out. I want to go on trips, but, I cannot leave him alone that long. If his blood sugar drops, he could have slipped into a coma by the time I arrive home. I am nervous even when I go to appointments or meetings without him. I don't enjoy myself. I only breathe a sigh of relief after arriving home and know that he is alright. The trips are during the week and my children are working, and my grandchildren are either working or in school. I do not think there is an answer, if he does not change his attitude and behavior. It would be easier if he would listen and was kind.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
I think your husband's increasing confusion has led to anger and frustration on his part. I understand why you would attempt to explain things to him in more detail but that might confuse him more which in turn would increase his frustration and anger.

It's not that he's not listening, it's that he can't retain information. It's very frustrating to deal with someone who has confusion as you have discovered but I don't think he's doing it on purpose.

Why not lean on your children? If they're willing to help on occasion take them up on it. You need some down time and time to yourself when you're not either caring for your husband or worrying about him while you're gone. If you feel you need some help, ask for it. You have to take care of yourself too. Caring for yourself is not a luxury, it's a necessity and is crucial if you are going to continue to care for your husband at home. You need a break. We all need a break when caring for our loved ones.

You also might consider hiring in-home help for a couple of hours when you have to go out so you're not as nervous about how your husband is doing at home alone.

Don't count on your husband to change. Confusion only gets worse as time goes on. We're the ones who have to change and adapt.

Wah, your profile says that your husband has "age-related decline". what you describe sounds more like dementia to me; has he been evaluated for that, not by his regular doctor, but by a specialist team, say a neuropsychologist and neurologist?

It sounds like he's agitated as well. Has anyone mentioned that meds might help this situation? He could be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist for that.

I'm not sure if reframing this as dementia makes it any easier for you to cope with this; it sounds as though he's past the point where he can be left alone. Have you considered a facility? If not, I think you need to look into that.

Take care of yourself on this journey!

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter