Mom goes through spells when she's "better." She walks better, she talks better and she remembers much better. The downside is what she gets better at is anger and bad behavior. It's back to a couple of years ago where she would primal scream in rage, ransack the cabinets and refuse to take her pills. It was a tough period. I'm just waiting for the better phase to pass. If it's like how it's been, it'll be a few days or weeks.

Unlike other people who say that dementia made their LO mean, dementia mellowed my mom out. She went from hateful rage to chill.

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I understand. My dad had a mestasis in his brain and a terminal cancer diagnosis.

I would feel guilty about loading him up on pain pills and anxiety meds because then he'd turn into a vegetable. High as a kite, zoning out in his hospital bed.

I tried to give him just what was needed and not load him up to help him stay "sentient" as much as possible, thinking it preferable for him to be himself.

"Himself" was miserable, grumpy, in pain, impatient. It took a while, but I finally learned that it wasn't a bad thing.

Same with my mom. She and I did not get along for the first 28 years of my life, but after her second stroke she is pleasant and not the micromanaging control freak I refused to live with.

Hopefully the mellow stage returns ASAP. Try to stay patient AND sane until then.

Well then. You are very lucky. And cherish the fact you don't have a monster. Many of us do. And in your care decisions, don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

Best to you.

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