Hi all, I hope you are able to copy that link and watch the presentation from Jolene Brackey. I found it helpful especially after a particularly tumultuous week with family who I believe are not understanding what my mom is going thru. Give you an example: sister comes from out of town and 1) is not happy that mom does not bathe everyday 2) mom goes to bed too early 3) she has to have permission from POA (me) to take mother from the home to anywhere; restaurant, shopping etc. Of course all of this has been put in place for Mother’s safety. Anyhoo, I’m sure I’m not the only one so watch this. It is helpful.
It is very common for the other siblings to second-guess or not understand the new way your mom requires care. Have you suggested that your siblings watch any Teepa Snow videos on YouTube so that they begin to learn what it means to have dementia and how to engage with LOs who have it? Also, they can read a highly-endorsed book , "The 36-hour Day". Educating them will be really helpful to your caregiving. FYI being transparent with your siblings will help keep everyone satisfied that she's getting good care. You may not think you should "have to" do this but in an absence of information they will imagine and suspect negative things because they worry about their mom, too. I was the family caregiver/manager for my MIL . I have 2 other BILs/wives and 2 stepBILs. At one point in a 1-/2 yr period I was doing stuff for her daily (when we first discovered her decline, that she/husband were broke, figuring out their care options). I decided to send out a daily email to all of them at the same time with just info: what I did for her that day, why I had to do it, the hoped-for outcome, the name of those involved (doctors, social workers, dentists, and their phone numbers). This was because I was not her PoA and didn't ever want them to question what I was doing or why and they could never say, "I didn't know ______." It worked really well and moved things along so that I wasn't having to explain or justify decisions. Just give them facts and nothing else, no opinions, side comments. Send it to them even if they say they don't want to receive it. You won't regret this strategy. Wishing you success in providing the best care for your mom.