Follow
Share

last feb 2022 my moms husband died since then I’ve helping her she got sick with septes in July she also has chronic back pain which the treatment she was given caused an abscess on her spine to make along story short she ent threw 8 weeks of antibiotics she’s Ben bed bound for 2 months she’s suffered with dillerium in the hospital pain in her back and 3rehabs won’t cooperate and now she’s in a sub acute rehab/nursing home she complains about her care every where she’s been calls me constantly tells me I’m the worst daughter ever all she wants is her oxycodine even though they give her pain meds but it’s not the ones she’s used to taking for the last 15yrs all she wants is to bring me her pills she’s driving me crazy and sometimes I feel like giving up because she left when I 2years old I actually didn’t have contact with her till I was in my 20s my grandma raised me . Sometimes I feel why do I do this for her. Then I feel bad for thinking that way because I’m all she has her family is all gone and I’m her only daughter asking for help how to deal with her

Find Care & Housing
Repeat to yourself whenever needed: you are Mom's daughter.

You are NOT her Nurse.
Not her Doctor.
Not her Physiotherapist.
Not her Pharmacist.
Certainly not the Pharmacy delivery person.
These are all outside your role.

Be realistic with what you can do & tell her, at every call or visit if need be.
Mom, I am your daughter. I m so sorry you have pain & this is so hard for you. Please keep talking to your Doctor & Nurses to improve your health & get the right medications.

You can, as her Advocate (as others have said) speak up for her rights. You know her better than staff & can alert professionals that she is really doing it tough.
(1)
Report

Your mom is addicted to pain medication, opioids to be exact, and that's all she wants: more pain medication because she feels horrible without it. You don't have POA for her, so your hands are tied in what you're able to DO for your mom. Nothing much, really.

Your mom needs drug rehab now; a comprehensive treatment program where she stays/lives in the facility and gets help to get clean from the pain meds she's been taking for a long time now. Speak to the social worker at the rehab she's in NOW and ask about getting mom drug rehab treatment.

In the meantime, do not bring her anymore oxycodone, if you have access to that drug. It's not up to YOU to decide what drugs she should be taking while she's in rehab. Nor should you bring her medications from home that are not prescribed and authorized by her doctor at the rehab she's at now. If she wants THAT particular medication, she will have to ask her doctor for it and have him write a prescription for it at the rehab she's at now.

If your mother is causing you a lot of stress and upset, then minimize or cut your contact with her. Do let the social worker know about her drug addiction and that you feel she needs DRUG rehab treatment, and then let it go. Because in reality, there is no way to successfully 'deal' with a drug addict who only wants you to get drugs for her, that's ALL she wants. She can't help it, she's addicted and her body is screaming for more drugs all day & night.

Wishing you good luck with all of this.
(2)
Report

You probably cannot get her medications. Her dr calso cannot 'call them in'. Dr must write a new prescription each time for a drug as powerful as oxycontin. According to the facility's rules she either has to have someone get the meds from the pharmacy or have you do it. But on your own--not likely the dr will prescribe unless they are 100% YOU aren' taking them. IDK. Mom was addicted to pain meds for 40+years. As she began falling a lot, the dr refused to let her have any more. She really was in pain the last 10 years and I felt her dr was kind of severe--but she really didn't seem to care, luckily.

And really? She probably is in a lot of pain and that clouds your thinking severely. What's the worst thing that can happen if she gets her pain meds and can be out of pain, or at least not suffering from constant pain. You can be her ADVOCATE and not be the deliverer of said meds. Just help her out when you can and don't when you can't.

Personally, I think we UNDER-medicate our elders who are in pain. As a chronic pain sufferer, I KNOW what's it's like to have pain 24/7 and the relief when I can take something that will ease my pain. Yes, I am probably addicted, but under a dr's care and I stopped listening to people who are judgy of me.

She probably WOULD be better off with her rehab if she had less pain. Just my opinion. She can't OD on them if the rehab facility is doling them out.

Just a little compassion is needed here. I'm sure mom would appreciate somebody being in her corner.

Nobody's headstone says "Died drug free". The drugs are there for a reason.
(3)
Report

I know my spelling and writing awful. But how it sounds is actually what I’m going through.My mom is so addicted to oxycodine for pain meds, she’s begging me to bring them to her so she can get threw her rehabilitation. Every time she cries and pleads for it I walk away. I feel bad but she refuses to corporate. I think I have to place her in long term care. But I need to get power of attorney over her, I only have temporary medical right now.
(0)
Report

Mocorino123, wish I could help, but I've been trying to read your post but without any punctuation, groups of words can have different meanings.
(0)
Report

Thanks I do ignore that I usually walk away and don’t talk to her for a while There’s been so much going on and I feel it’s time for a permanent place for her but the docs thinks she’s rehabable she’s been there a week and has done nothing but lay in bed and sometimes saying I just want to die and her Medicare will probably run out soon I guess I need to talk to the social worker there and I think I need a elderly lawyer to get full power over her because she still is capable of making some decisions her mind isn’t gone anyone know how Medicare works or should I just get a lawyer
(0)
Report

She is addicted to oxy and her behavior towards you is manipulative to get her drug of choice. Don’t give in and ignore her complaints.
(3)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter