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dwilliams927 Posted March 2020

Social Distancing... going insane

Anyone else? Dad used to be able to go out with his friends for 2-4 hours a day. They'd come pick him up and go out and I would get a break. Now he's home 24/7 and unable to keep himself entertained.

derochka Mar 2020
My mom has seriously declined in the past two weeks, requiring help moving 3 feet between her bed and the recliner. She can't do much at all and I am going nuts. I feel like a trapped rat. Even with the caregiver here, I can't go anywhere to get away. We have increased our once minimal caregiving to 6 hours every weekday but I am alone on the weekends. Coping by going for a drive and crying in my car.

Arwen31 Mar 2020
I hear you, my mom was very social (more than myself!) too, and I'm afraid she will miss people more than me.

For the moment, I have "employed" her as my helper :) I told her that I really need a hand (which is actually true) so she puts the dishes in the washing machine, hangs the laundry, she even swiped the floor. I think she feels better for this, and more positive. We also do some light gym together everyday in front of the open window.

I hope this helps a little : hang in there, all this will be over, eventually.

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dwilliams927 Mar 2020
@kimmotion I started printing out word searches and find the hidden items in the picture. The word search kept him pretty busy 2 days ago. The hidden picture sheet needed to be completed with help and took us an hour to do only half of it. I saved the other half for today. That's the problem, a lot of tasks need supervision. I'm buying some colored pencils, coloring books and activity books off amazon today. I'm thinking about legos too since he used to be an ironworker. Maybe he'd like to build. I asked him what he likes to do with his free time. He shrugged and said "I like movies..." but he doesn't retain as much from them as he used to. He falls asleep or gets up and walks around, asks questions about the movie that make you wonder if you're watching the same thing. This is all definitely an adjustment. I've never had to think about how to keep another person occupied before. I always just occupied myself.

dwilliams927 Mar 2020
@countrymouse Yes! We became ferret owners by accident lol. Murr walked up to my husband when he was taking out the trash. Tried to locate his owners but never did find them. So we kept Murr and a few months later got him a friend to keep him company, Taz. Murr is a joy but Taz is a terror. Murr had a fooled thinking all ferrets were like him. I now know better lol.

I live with my husband in addition to the animals and dad. My husband goes to dialysis 3 days a week, 4 hrs each time. Then afterwards he's tired and needs to nap. I told him yesterday that I need to be relieved for a couple hours a day even if after his nap when he gets home. We'll see how that works out. Last night I ate my dinner in our bedroom and talked to some friends online. That helped to have a little solitude. Dad follows me around everywhere all day like I'm mama duck. Heck, he's even taken to calling me "Ma" more often than not now. That's been interesting to adjust to. I had a good cry about that last night too which also seemed to help.

Kimmotion Mar 2020
I hear you, and I get it. Virtual hug! Believe me, you are NOT alone in dealing with this. Right now, I'm sure there are many caregivers in the same boat as we are- God help us all!

Prior to this crazy virus thing, I was able to leave the house for a bit- go to work, the gym, the movies or out to eat. I could escape when I needed a break, but it feels like the rug has been pulled from underneath my feet. My grandmother is in decent shape for 93, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have her days driving me insane. She doesn't really do much to keep herself entertained either, but there isn't much we can really do about that.

The best advice I have to offer is this: offer your Dad options of things to do like reading a book, doing a craft, coloring, playing a game of some kind, put on a good movie or tv show that he might like to watch, do puzzles... he may or may not do these things, but at least they are there for him. You can't force him to do something, but you can offer. Next time he says he's bored, offer these solutions. He might say yes or no, but they are there if he chooses.

Hope this helps. Stay safe and healthy!

Countrymouse Mar 2020
I didn't know there were ferret-fanciers in the States! I'm delighted to hear it :)

Other than that I'm afraid I don't know what to say. Anyone else at home besides you, Dad and the furry friends?

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